Peanut Is Coming

Watch this space.

2007-05-12T01:46:00.000-07:00

This blog will soon be dedicated to all things Peanutty.

The action will commence in 33 days (or there-abouts).

In the meantime, visit the guru of baby-blogging: Joel "Rambo" Sopwith.

2006-08-31T02:28:00.000-07:00

This blog has come to an end.

It was fun while it lasted, but my interest has waned and I will no longer be posting here. Enjoy the links, and when I have the time and vision to start afresh, I will. I will post a link when/if that happens.

Thanks for reading.

The End.

Don't Hassle the Hoff

2006-07-04T02:05:00.000-07:00

This is priceless. David Hasslehoff covering, of course, yet another dweeb tune. This time it is the big Aussie hit of the 70's: Jump In My Car. There really is nothing quite like seeing the Hoff do a little pelvic thrusting to turn you off your food.

The one redeeming feature? KITT!

An articulate response

2006-06-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

Although I am not wishing to continue the bitterness for too much longer, I have been searching the internet for an articulate and knowledgeable response to the referee's decision against Australia during the match with Italy.

I believe I may have found it: follow the link for a video interview of three wise Aussie swagmen giving their deeply considered post-match opinion. Filled with such amazing gems as: "He's a parrot that ref. He needs to neck up, and get some Australian spirit around him."

Check out the video here.

A sore day... a red day... ere the sun rises.

2006-06-28T00:23:00.000-07:00

But on the 26th of June 2006 the sun did set upon Australian hopes, vanquished by the shrill sound of a single whistle. In the dying seconds of that mighty battle, the Referee bespoke a foul and dashed our hearts upon the jagged rocks of despair.

Australia 0

Italy 1

If my blog was not already black, I would have made it so for this inauspicious occasion.

Froth and Bubble Day

2006-06-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow (today in Australia), is the 136th anniversary of the suicide of Australian poet Adam Lindsay Gordon. Gordon, now largely forgotten by the public, is actually the only Australian poet to have a place of commemoration in Westminster Abbey's "Poet's Corner", and that was largely thanks to the effort of Rudyard Kipling who lobbied hard for it after Gordon's death.

Gordon was revered like a rock star in the decades after his 1870 death, aged 37. In 1921, more than 4000 people attended his memorial service at Brighton Cemetery, and, in 1932, State Parliament rose for the unveiling of the Spring Street statue (in Melbourne).

And now, shocked by Gordon's growing obscurity, John Adams, a retired Torquay banker, is obsessed with resurrecting Gordon as Australia's national poet. He has declared today the first annual Froth and Bubble Day.

Why Froth and Bubble? No, it has nothing to do with beer, contrary to the Australian stereotype, but with one of Gordon's most famous proverbs:

"Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone,
Kindness in another's trouble, Courage in your own."

Amen

John Adams stands in front of Gordon's statue.

Australia Go Through!

2006-06-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

A thrilling 2:2 draw with Croatia means that Australia are through to the Semi-Finals in second place behind Brazil (for our group).

Here is a shot of Kewell's magic equaliser in the 79th minute:

Croatian goal-keeper espies his doom:

Some well-deserved joy:

Kewell getting religious (and rightly so, sport is Australia's national religion, after all):

Great game, but what crazy bedlam at the end! Red cards being handed out left and right, confusion all round as the ref forgets that he is supposed to send Simunic off, even after he gets his third yellow card for the match (he finally got the red after full-time whistle). A late goal by Cahill is disallowed, no one is sure why (a bit of an anti-climax to the game actually). Offsides that weren't (and were). Handballs that were. Missed chances. Aussie goal keeper lets the ball roll right over him (git). Blatant and Ballsy fouls. Too much shirt pulling. Hissy fits and eff-yous from the Croatian captain. A Croatian (Simunic again) tries to physically stop the ref from blowing his whistle (and isn't sent off). Lots of (almost vomit-inducing) tension. Arm-chair sportsmen. Lot's of "If that was me, I would have..." from the Gio. A fantastic game!

We got what we came for, and today, it feels like anything could be possible. Next up: Australia v. Italy. Hopefully the Italians will consider this game a little more worthwhile from an "artistic" point of view and actually try to beat us (unlike their performance against the US).

Huzzay for Ghana too!

My vote for man of the match goes to the Croatian coach, for keeping us all entertained with poses like this:

New name

2006-06-16T14:47:00.000-07:00

I've renamed my blog. The new name is designed to reflect upon what mostly appears here, which is (sad, but true) usually written by me.

I've come to realise that I have neither the time, nor the inclination it takes to make a blog 'good'. So rather than cry about it, I have decided to celebrate this fact by renaming this mind-trap of imbecility.

Huzzay for me. I have a bog.

The humourous side is immediately apparent, especially if you verbify the noun "bog". My entries are now "bogs", and I will be "bogging" when I write one, and if I am having a hard time writing a bog entry I can call this "squeezing (pinching) out a bog", and writer's block could be termed... well, ok you get the idea.

---

For those even stupider than me: BOG = BLOG - L

WOOT

2006-06-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Australia: 3

Japan: 1

Go you good thing.

We don't like cricket... oh no, WE LOVE IT!

2006-06-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ticket sales for the upcoming Ashes tour in Australia went on sale to Cricket Australia members this morning, and in just 3 hours 180,000 of them were sold. This is unprecedented in the history of Australian cricket.

The total number of tickets that will be available is 720,000; 635,000 of which are exclusively for the Australian public, the rest are reserved for fans from the UK.

The promotors expect that all the tickets will sell without a problem.

Wish I could be there for the series.

Britain's new 'rubber highways'

2006-06-01T01:44:00.000-07:00

I read a news report today that some 9,000 miles of disused railway tracks in England are to be converted into new roads. This is going to be achieved by laying the old tracks with specially made 'pavers' created from recycled care tyres.

The hope was that this would relieve road congestion.

My first thought was: "are they going to equip every car with a pogo-stick so that when the traffic locks up, the drivers can get out and safely bounce their way to work?" No fear of falling over, the roads are covered with rubber - just like the new kiddie playgrounds!

That was before I realised the "road congestion" was obviously referring to the main thoroughfares.

Still, I think my idea would be fun!

The Semi-Pelagian Narrower Catechism

2006-05-26T02:59:00.000-07:00

I picked this up in the blogosphere, and with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek, I post it here for your merriment. Not to mention that like all good humour, the reason this is funny is because so much of it is unfortunately true, and when observed in this light, incredibly ridiculous... *sigh*

The Semi-Pelagian Narrower Catechism

1. Q: What is the chief end of each individual Christian?
A: Each individual Christian's chief end is to get saved. This is the first and great commandment.

2. Q: And what is the second great commandment?
A: The second, which is like unto it, is to get as many others saved as he can.

3. Q: What one work is required of thee for thy salvation?
A: It is required of me for my salvation that I make a Decision for Christ, which meaneth to accept Him into my heart to be my personal lord'n'saviour

4. Q: At what time must thou perform this work?
A: I must perform this work at such time as I have reached the Age of Accountability.

5. Q: At what time wilt thou have reached this Age?
A: That is a trick question. In order to determine this time, my mind must needs be sharper than any two-edged sword, able to pierce even to the division of bone and marrow; for, alas, the Age of Accountability is different for each individual, and is thus unknowable.

6. Q: By what means is a Decision for Christ made?
A: A Decision for Christ is made, not according to His own purpose and grace which was given to me in Christ Jesus before the world began, but according to the exercise of my own Free Will in saying the Sinner's Prayer in my own words.

7. Q: If it be true then that man is responsible for this Decision, how then can God be sovereign?
A: He cannot be. God sovereignly chose not to be sovereign, and is therefore dependent upon me to come to Him for salvation. He standeth outside the door of my heart, forlornly knocking, until such time as I Decide to let Him in.

8. Q: How then can we make such a Decision, seeing that the Scripture saith, we are dead in our trespasses and sins?
A: By this the Scripture meaneth, not that we are dead, but only that we are sick or injured in them.

9. Q: What is the assurance of thy salvation?
A: The assurance of thy salvation is, that I know the date on which I prayed the Sinner's Prayer, and have duly written this date on an official Decision card.

10. Q: What is thy story? What is thy song?
A: Praising my Savior all the day long.

11. Q: You ask me how I know he lives?
A: He lives within my heart.

12. Q: And what else hast thou got in thine heart?
A: I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.

13. Q: Where??
A: Down in my heart!

14. Q: Where???
A: Down in my heart!!

15. Q: What witness aid hath been given us as a technique by which we may win souls?
A: The tract known commonly as the Four Spiritual Laws, is the chief aid whereby we may win souls.

16. Q: What doth this tract principally teach?
A: The Four Spiritual Laws principally teach, that God's entire plan for history and the universe centereth on me, and that I am powerful enough to thwart His divine purpose if I refuse to let Him pursue His Wonderful Plan for my life.

17. Q: What supplementary technique is given by which we may win souls?
A: The technique of giving our own Personal Testimony, in the which we must always be ready to give an answer concerning the years we spent in vanity and pride, and the wretched vices in which we wallowed all our lives until
the day we got saved.

18. Q: I'm so happy, what's the reason why?
A: Jesus took my burden all away!

19. Q: What are the means given whereby we may save large crowds of souls in a spectacular manner?
A: Such a spectacle is accomplished by means of well-publicized Crusades and Revivals which (in order that none may be loath to attend) are best conducted anywhere else but in a Church.

20. Q: Am I a soldier of the Cross?
A: I am a soldier of the Cross if I join Campus Crusade, Boys' Brigade, the Salvation Army, or the Wheaton Crusaders; of if I put on the helmet of Dispensationalism, the breastplate of Pietism, the shield of Tribulationism, and the sword of Zionism, having my feet shod with the gospel of Arminianism.

21. Q: Who is your boss?
A: My boss is a Jewish carpenter.

22. Q: Hath God predestined vessels of wrath to Hell?
A: God hath never performed such an omnipotent act, for any such thing would not reflect His primary attribute, which is Niceness.

23. Q: What is sanctification?
A: Sanctification is the work of my free Will, whereby I am renewed by having my Daily Quiet Time.

24. Q: What rule hath God for our direction in prayer?
A: The rule that we must bow our hands, close our heads, and fold our eyes.

25. Q: What doth the Lord's Prayer teach us?
A: The Lord's Prayer teacheth us that we must never memorize a prayer, or use one that hath been written down.

26. Q: What's the book for thee?
A: The B-I-B-L-E.

27. Q: Which are among the first books which a Christian should read to his soul's health?
A: Among the first books which a Christian should read are the books of Daniel and Revelation, and The Late Great Planet Earth.

28. Q: Who is on the Lord's side?
A: He who doth support whatsoever is done by the nation of Israel, and who doth renounce the world, the flesh, and the Catholic Church.

29. Q: What are the seven deadly sins?
A: The seven deadly sins are smoking, drinking, dancing, card-playing, movie-going, baptizing babies, and having any creed but Christ.

30. Q: What is a sacrament?
A: A sacrament is an insidious invention devised by the Catholic Church whereby men are drawn into idolatry.

31. Q: What is the Lord's Supper?
A: The Lord's Supper is a dispensing of saltines and grape juice, in the which we remember Christ's command to pretend that they are His body and blood.

32. Q: What is baptism?
A: Baptism is the act whereby, by the performance of something that seems quite silly in front of everyone, I prove that I really, really mean it.

33. Q: What is the Church?
A: The Church is the tiny minority of individuals living at this time who have Jesus in their hearts, and who come together once a week for a sermon, fellowship and donuts.

34. Q: What is the office of the keys?
A: The office of the keys is that office held by the custodian.

35. Q: What meaneth "The Priesthood Of All Believers"?
A: The Priesthood Of All Believers meaneth that there exists no authority in the Church, as that falsely thought to be held by elders, presbyters, deacons, and bishops, but that each individual Christian acts as his own authority in all matters pertaining to the faith.

36. Q: Who is the Holy Spirit?
A: The Holy Spirit is a gentleman Who would never barge in.

37. Q: How long hath the Holy Spirit been at work?
A: The Holy Spirit hath been at work for more than a century: expressly, since the nineteenth-century Revitalization brought about by traveling Evangelists carrying tents across America.

38. Q: When will be the "Last Days" of which the Bible speaketh?
A: The "Last Days" are these days in which we are now living, in which the Antichrist, the Beast, and the Thief in the Night shall most certainly appear.

39. Q: What is the name of the event by which Christians will escape these dreadful entities?
A: The event commonly known as the Rapture, in the which it is our Blessed Hope that all cars driven by Christians will suddenly have no drivers.

40. Q: When is Jesus coming again?
A: Maybe morning, maybe noon, maybe evening, and maybe soon.

41. Q: When the roll, roll, roll, is called up yonder, where will you be?
A: There.

42. Q: Hallelu, hallelu, hallelu, hallelujah!
A: Praise ye the Lord!

43. Q: Praise ye the Lord!
A: Hallelujah!

44. Q: Where will we meet again?
A: Here, there, or in the air.

45. Q: Can I hear an Ay-men?
A: Ay-men.

Another interview

2006-05-10T15:53:00.000-07:00

This is the one I was waiting for. Now that I have introduced you to Andrew Denton, and his excellent interviewing skills, take a look at his latest: an interview with the provocative and wonderful Australian cartoonist Michael Leunig. Leunig has long been my favourite cartoonist; his view of the world is simply exquisite.

Check out the interview here.

You can often find Leunig's cartoons in the cartoons (surprise) section of the Melbourne newspaper, The Age.

Here is the "thoughts of a baby in a childcare centre" cartoon referred to in the interview.

Interview with Bono

2006-05-05T15:19:00.000-07:00

When U2 had to cancel their 2006 tour of Australia because, rumour has it, the Edge's daughter was diagnosed with leukemia, Bono granted a TV interview with the enigmatic Andrew Denton on Denton's Parkinson-esque Enough Rope. Denton is a long-time Australian TV personality, producer, and comedian. The title of his show inspires fear and trembling in most interviewees, though it shouldn't as Denton has a sublime way of drawing out the best in people. You could put the worst kind of person on Denton's show and he would likely find a way of drawing out at least some degree of sympathy from the audience. Denton's encounter with Bono is one of the best interviews I've read in a while.

Check it out here.

You can also subscribe to the Enough Rope podcast here.

BONUS: a video of Denton's interview with Foo Fighter's frontman Dave Grohl.

Holidays!

2006-05-05T14:07:00.001-07:00

I booked our aeroplane tickets today; Lissa and I are off to Eurpoe in July!

WOOT!

Holidays!

2006-05-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

I booked our aeroplane tickets today; Lissa and I are off to Eurpoe in July!

WOOT!

Church Shopping in America

2006-05-04T00:47:00.000-07:00

Came across this excellent vid clip from King of the Hill. A show I have barely watched (I find it hard to get through an episode). However, this is incredibly funny. Following a dispute with their pastor over the pew arrangements at church, the King of the Hill family decide to leave and go somewhere else. Thus begins the search for the perfect church.

Not surprisingly, they end up at a Megachurch that has huge HDTV screens, an ex-quarterback celeb pastor, and an espresso bar.

Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtI2pa2m5cg

New Link

2006-04-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

So it seems my eminent Germanic friend and his awesome Canadian wifey are BLOGGING! How fun. Three Cheers for Franz and Lisa!

Check it out: http://franzlisameier.blogspot.com/

YAY!

And they say Christians are hypocrites...

2006-04-17T17:23:00.000-07:00

This kind of hypocrisy drives me mental. I'm not sure who is to blame exactly; be it the creators or the network execs, but regardless it is sickening that no one bats an eyelid when Jesus gets flamed or is the butt of some of the most blasphemous material around... but pick on Scientology or, now, the prophet Mohammed, and all of a sudden everyone is crapping their PC underpants and wringing their hands in case the Muslims (or Tom Cruise) are offended. I am sick of these double-standards. Why is there one rule for the way you treat Christianity, and another for everyone else? I guess it is because we don't want to upset people who will respond with violence (or sofa jumping), while we Christians are expected to just sit down and take it. Go Egypt I say (minus the machetes though)! If someone stabs you in the neck while you are at church, because you are a Christian, what would you do? Smile and say "bless you my son"? No, you protest to the government, you demand equal application of the law to all religions, you express your anger through appropriate democratic means. Martyrdom is one thing - inviting martyrdom by being a sappy, milk-drinking, sop-faced doormat, is another. Just because someone is attacking you because of your faith, doesn't mean you don't have a right to do whatever you can (short of returning the violence) to stop it.

Matt Stone and Tray Parker have broken all the laws of satire by having such an obvious double standard. There are very few true satirists out there. Why? Because they never have any friends: everyone is fair game. That is probably why Seinfeld worked so well. Jerry Seinfeld has no friends, he is a self-obsessed loser - but great at satire.

Anyway, whatever credibility Southpark had as satire (if any), it is now irredeemably lost.

Christianity in America

2006-04-14T01:27:00.000-07:00

Just came across an excellent essay on the state of the Christian religion in America. Check it out here.

Provocative & Dangerous

2006-03-11T02:16:00.000-08:00

I came across this video yesterday, and as I watched it I was completely blown away by the courage the woman being interviewed demonstrates. Saying what she did has probably put her in a lot of danger. I'm not totally sure what to make of everything she says (or that I entirely agree with her on all points), but the very fact that all the other guy could do was call her a heretic and therefore refused to engage her arguments on those grounds - suggests he had really nothing he could say in the face of this woman's (very articulate) attack on the violence inherent in Islamic fundamentalism.

See the video here.

If you want to comment please let me know whether you think her description of the 'West'. Do you think we are as innocent and democratic as she makes out?

On Community

2006-03-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

First of all I need to apologise for my 'rant' from a couple of days ago. I realise I was a bit uncharitable about some things, and in true rantish form, it was a knee-jerk reaction - an expression of my frustrations. But what is a blog for if I can't spill my guts when I want/need to?

At the end of the rant though, I referred to a soundbite that I'd heard on Wednesday, namely, "Churches that disengage from their communities do not love God."

Glenn helpfully pointed out in the comments that "disengaging" assumes that our churches were engaged in the first place. And yes, "it is a truth universally acknowledged" that our churches are not, by and large, significantly engaged in the life of their local communities. Mine included. (Though we dream...!) Most churches are, at best, a "community" for a couple of hours on a Sunday morning (and possibly for a couple hours on Tuesday or Wednesday night - if you're 'really committed to the vision of the church'), and at worst, merely a religious goods and services provider for the occasional church visit (say, Christmas and Easter).

Most churches don't exist beyond those stated occasions - and I use the word exist intentionally - for a church is neither a 'worship service' one attends, surely, nor a building in which religious activities are held. If that is all the church is, then between those times when the 'service' is held (and perhaps even then), it is a dead thing, non-existent, merely an institutional activity that bears no resemblance to the church Jesus founded by Blood and Fire.

The church, I believe, is meant to be a living body of people, gathered together and committed to one another in Christ. The loving relationships, the "one anothering", the supporting and carrying, the rebuking, exhorting, helping, praying, protecting, discipling, teaching, healing, and proclaiming that is meant to be the staple of the true church, is supposed to stand as a witness to the world - testifying to the present/future reality of the Kingdom and its loving King. The love we have for one another is the best example that "He is amongst us", and is present in our life together. In fact, it could be the 'only' example, for if we take Paul seriously in 1 Cor 13, we must conclude that even if a church goes through the motions, even if it does the religious stuff, but without a foundation of love, it is nothing.

All that to say this: God's love in us, and our love for other believers, is not simply 'for us'. It is my conviction that love seeks out its object: those who are outside, those lost, those who have left the Father's house. If we are filled with the love of God "poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit" we will be moved to find the object of God's love - those who are sick, broken, weak, the sinners, the ones in need of a physician. The love of God yearns within us to be released into the lives of those who have not yet found what they are looking for: "deep cries out to deep."

The point is, we must confront this troubling reality that churches un-engaged from their communities are clearly not living as they are called, and worse, may not have any sense at all of the love of God. They neither love God, nor know His love. For if they were filled with God's love, they would be very very upset about their general lack of compassion and longing for those lost.

Assuming then, that all evangelism is meant to be a response to the love of God, experienced in the grace of our Lord Jesus, then mission must always remain at the heart of the church for God is love, and Jesus was living out the missio Dei because he loved the Father, and desired above all else, to do the will of the Father. The will of the Father is to seek and save the lost. And it is not simply about saving people's backsides from the darkness of hell, it is about responding to the love of God.

So, with that said, I am going to spend the next few days pondering the questions implied in the quote above, which are, "what is community?" and "what does it mean for our church to engage it?"

Should be fun.

Conferences are the bane of my existence.

2006-03-08T15:34:00.000-08:00

I'm currently at a tedious (but kinda sorta good) conference in Abbotsford; a "conference on the ministry" to be precise. I'm not sure what 'the' ministry is, but I will let you as soon as I find out.

This conference has been focusing quite a bit on the 'emerging church'. However, the fine folks leading the conference seminars seem a little unsure of what they mean when they say 'emerging' (don't we all!) - here are some of the many terms I've heard thrown around (I suppose interchangeably): emerging, emergent, Emergent, the emergency church (ha!), the 'new paradigm church' (ick), the 'wireless church' vs. the 'hard copy church' (and my favourites) 'them', 'they', and 'that'. The last three I find particularly interesting, because it assumes that there is a centre to the emerging church that can be identified as a 'they' or a 'them', which is just plain wrong. I have found myself really disappointed with the seminars, as the facilitators have been focusing so much on the 'effects' and the 'form' of the emerging church - and on its similarities and/or differences with the denomination I am associated with - rather than on the real material and theological questions that the emerging dialogue is attempting to address: such as localised incarnational mission, ecclesial praxis as (or, that should be) an expression of the missio Dei, discipleship in the context of mission, the role of community in spiritual formation, church leadership structures that empower mission and participation in community, etc etc!

One highlight however, was hearing Ian Green (an apostolic church planter type from Wales), who is currently engaged in some very exciting church planting and leadership development in Northern and Eastern Europe, speak plainly and forcefully (yet without the laid-on guilt) about the priority of the gospel and developing leaders for mission NOT church programs.

Why don't we have a stronger emphasis on leadership development in our churches? I suppose there are many reasons, but some that stand out to me are: insecurities in current church leaders (what if those I am training are actually better than me?), fear of change, a poor Kingdom theology (most pastors are into Empire building, not Kingdom building), current leaders are actually not leaders themselves and are therefore incapable of training others, job security and a need to maintain the status quo, and the list could go on. The point is, Jesus invested in His 12 disciples (and others, presumably) to carry on the work of the Kingdom. Current church leadership should be focused on doing the same thing: perpetually passing on the baton, leading people into mission, sending and releasing rather than holding onto and drawing in. The goal of every church leader therefore, is to make herself or himself totally obsolete.

What is my understanding of the emerging church? Simply this: "The church missionaly engaged with local emerging culture." All good theology, for example, is a re-thinking of theology in the light of a constantly changing world - it is the process of articulating and thinking about the Gospel, which is always contextualised by one's historical and cultural locatedness. Shouldn't our understanding of mission and missional praxis (and appropriate forms of ecclesial praxis in the light of our missional calling) be approached in exactly the same way? The Holy Spirit has empowered us to "be His witnesses" and that must be lived out "among" and "in the midst of" the local community and culture of which we are a part. Mission is a relational process. The Father sends the Son who sends the Spirit who empowers and sends the Church. But this is not "in abstract", it is in the context of relationship, (the Son does the will of the Father because the Father loves the Son and the Son loves the Father; we are compelled "by the love of God" and etc.,) and furthermore, there is no such thing as a grand mission strategy that can apply in any and all contexts - except that strategy which is motivated by love and committed to demonstrating that love through real personal engagement with those in the local community.

By definition the church is always 'emerging' into the coming Kingdom, and by definition the church has 'emerged' in the resurrected Christ and in His Kingdom come. And since our culture is dynamic, the missio Dei expressed through the local church, must also translate as a commitment to the present local realities of the community in which the church is located.

So, again, I say that the emerging church is simply any church (regardless of its form) that is missionally engaged with its local emerging culture. 'Local' because there is no other place for the church to express its mission but amongst the people with whom God has called it to love. 'Emerging' because culture is never static. 'Culture' because the practices, artifacts, and relational dynamics of the community in which the local church is placed, is the very thing the gospel must address. Since culture is the by-product of persons living out their lives together (both spatially and relationally), then the word 'culture' is a way of saying 'persons', 'living', 'together', and the 'stuff' (both good and bad) that generates. Finally, by 'church' I mean primarily 'the church local' not the 'church catholic' (though that is obviously important too - but for reasons other than what I am trying to articulate here). Perhaps in a follow-up post I might talk about the catholic church and its role in the Kingdom of God. But for now, think local!

So, as you have probably gathered by now, I much prefer the term "the church in emerging culture" to simply "the emerging church". And I leave you with a little soundbite I heard today: "Churches that disengage from their communities do not love God."

Phew

2006-02-25T00:27:00.000-08:00

You Are 12% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

I'm not sure what I should think about this...

2006-02-19T00:44:00.002-08:00

...should I be offended or flatterd? (And I always knew Lissa was the Chicken, not me!) Anyway, it can't be all that accurate, as I would certainly NOT do anything for attention.

You Are Gonzo the Great

"Is something burning in here? Oh, it's just me."

You're a total nutball who will do anything for attention.

The first to take a dare, you'll pull almost any stunt.

You're one weird looking creature, but your chickens don't mind!

The Muppet Personality Test

The Great Gatsby

2006-02-14T18:41:00.000-08:00

To tell you the truth, Brad, I've not read the 'Lord of the Flies' either. Shame.

Here is something else that has always bothered me: what is all the fuss about 'The Great Gatsby'? I think there are many other things that Fitzgerald wrote that are a million times better. Why has Gatsby been such a popular book (well, it sold poorly while he was alive, its popularity didn't rise until after his death)?

Perhaps this alone is the reason for its popularity: the mystique of the misunderstood and troubled artist whose unappreciated art in life causes a slow and spiralling descent into alcoholism, madness, and disappointment unto death. Only later is the genius recognised - or at least, we call it genius, but is it really our own sad fascination for tragedy, misfortune, and the stoic heroism of the artist who will not turn from their art, even when the world will not pay attention to it? Even when it costs them every ounce of happiness and peace? Even when it means an early death? Fitzgerald is a regular Van Gogh!

Can someone explain to me this attraction to Fitzgerald’s Gatsby?

The Catcher In The Rye

2006-02-14T06:50:00.000-08:00

I couldn't sleep last night: this is despite the fact that I went to bed earlier than I have in years (since High School at least), and so, after tossing around for about an hour, giving up at 1.00AM when I realised I was irrevocably wide awake, I got to work reading a copy of The Catcher In The Rye that I had bought on Saturday afternoon.

Now, I studied English Literature at Uni and to everyone's chagrin (well, to Erin's anyway) I somehow managed to get through the degree without reading anything by Salinger. I did read a lot of Faulkner, however, if that is any consolation. But, I think my 'modern lit' Prof must have had a prejudice against Salinger. He really wanted everything modern to be postmodern, I think. At least, in hindsight, I recognise that all of the literature of the so-called modern period that he had us reading, was really stuff that was only marginally modernist, and by that I mean he had a penchant for the strange, the bizarre, the stuff that was pure stream of consciousness and non-linear. I think one of his favourite novels was Nightwood, for example. Some would argue that that kind of stuff is the best example of Modern lit., but what would I know, it's 6.30am for goodness sake.

Besides, we're all a bunch of snobs in Australia and really try very hard not to read anything written by Americans. Unless it is British, or Colonial (and yes, that includes Canada), or European, we look down our noses at it. Having said that, Faulkner is excused, and some of us will even allow Moby Dick to make it onto a list of 'Classics'. I think it one of the best novels ever written (far better than Eliot's Middlemarch which I have heard described more than once as the 'best example of the novel ever composed in the English language'. I think they only say that because it was written by a woman pretending to be a man, back in the day when women weren't supposed to do things like write.)

All that to say, I started reading The Catcher at 1am, and at 5am when I had finished it, I closed the book and I wondered what all the fuss was about. I then figured that 5am was not the time to make any kind of literary judgments.

***

It's now 7am, I have had a cup of coffee and have firmly decided that I prefer Franny and Zoey, which Erin loaned to me a few months back. Ever since then I have been madly reciting the Jesus Prayer.

What do you lurkers think? Which of Salinger's novels do you prefer?

Beth Part II

2006-01-20T23:58:00.000-08:00

To those of you who clicked the link to the video...

Yes, I must confess that the muppets are a little weird. Not sure what that's all about.

Here's an insider tip for yous (the Aussie version of y'all - sp?): Beth is a close friend of Ben Harper's, and he is known for making unannounced guest appearances at her shows.

Don't think it can happen? Well, I am an eyewitness baby!

It all went down at the '96 Byron Bay Blues and Folk Festival (called "Under a Blue Moon"). Beth was doing a folk set, of course, and Ben turned up (he wasn't billed to perform at the Festival) and jammed with her. Tom Waits, who was performing at the Festival, also joined them onstage and they went on to produce the most incredible musical experience I think I've ever had. It was most excellent!

Once in a lifetime baby... or is it?

Beth Orton

2006-01-20T17:46:00.000-08:00

Yay! I just discovered that Beth Orton will be playing at the Commodore on Wed 29th March.

I used to be in love with Beth when I was in High School. My affections have now been diverted elsewhere of course, yet I still think her work is awesome! And she is still totally cute.

You can watch the video of her new single here.

Anyone want to come with me?

Buy a ticket.

Tim

The 10 Commandments Remixed

2006-01-20T12:55:00.000-08:00

The 10 Homie (sp?) Commandments.

For those who find the King James Version a bit too challenging...

1. I am God. Don't play me (I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before me).

2. Don't be makin' no hood ornaments or pendants that look like me (Thou shalt not have any graven images).

3. Don't be callin' me for no reason (Thou shalt not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain).

4. Y'all betta be in church every Sunday; not just on Easter and Christmas (Remember the the Sabbath day and keep it holy).

5. Don't cuss out yo momma or yo' daddy neither, if you know who he is... (Honor thy father and thy mother).

6. Don't run no drive-bys (Thou shalt not kill).

7. Stick to ya own Boo (Thou shalt not commit adultery).

8. Don't be borrowin' junk and then don't give it back (Thou shalt not steal).

9. Don't go lyin' on a dude to save yo' *bleep* (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy brother).

10. Don't be skeemin' on yo homey's ice, crib, gear, ride or female (Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy brother).

VIA

Vanilla Ice Is Back

2006-01-13T17:47:00.000-08:00

And taking his inspiration from the Official "Dullest Blog In The World."

First this post appeared on said blog:

Opening a cupboard door	(dull, October 17)
There was a cupboard in the corner of the room. I reached out my hand and gripped the door handle. I pulled the door towards me, thereby opening the cupboard.

Which was followed by this comment:

Vanilla Ice			January 11
All right stop collaborate and don't get bored Ice is back with my brand new cupboard. Something grabs a hold of the crackers tightly outa the cupboard it comes nightly Will it ever stop yo I don't know open the cupboard door and I'll go To the extreme I eat my cheetos like a vandal Light up a kitchen and open a cupboard by the handle Sneek in grab the popcorn and back out like boom I'm gettin' mad cholesterol like a poisonous mushroom Deadly when I turn on a melody Any evidence I was in there is a felony Love it or leave it you better gain weight Better not make much noise, oops there goes the plate If there was a problem yo I'll solve it Check out my cupboard it's mad dope ain't it Ice Ice Baby Ice Cream too yea Oops...Ice Ice Baby Ummm...that's all I got...yo.

I think there's something in that for all of us.

In case you hadn't already figured it out, the beauty of the Dullest Blog is not the blog entries themselves (though they are a masterful example of clarity and brevity), but in the comments. The enthusiasm with which people comment, the levels of interaction, the swirling layers of meaning, the creative force that is unleashed! It is like you've just stepped into the Library of Babel, entered the Garden of Forking Paths, oh! if I could only not think of the Tiger!

Tim

Sightings of Jesus

2006-01-10T23:29:00.000-08:00

Apparently Jesus was last seen giving the keynote address at a Republican Party fundraiser meeting in the USA.

I can laugh at this because I am neither Rebulican, nor (or because I am not) American. But as with all good satire...

(Though Jesus was probably wearing a grey suit and red tie for the occasion, he might have looked like this in his publicity shot:)

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

2006-01-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

"The atmosphere was thick with the conversations we weren't having."

- Jonathan Safran-Foer

(P.S. The book reads like a Wes Anderson movie.)

Pandora

2006-01-04T02:52:00.000-08:00

This is otherwise known as the music genome project, and is one of the sweetest things I've seen in ages. It's quite possibly the most creative web marketing technique kicking around at the moment too. But that doesn't take away from the coolness factor of fifty billion trillion googolplex.

Whatever.

This cool app asks you to punch in your favourite artist and from that it creates a radio playlist (which you can then listen to) based on your musical 'genome'. Who knew that Jeff Buckley and Jimmy Hendrix were in the same genome, but it actually makes quite a lot of sense. Basically it plays a whole bunch of artists that you may or may not have heard of, that will likely be appreciated by you. And if you don't like the artist you can boot 'em off the playlist.

Placing the power of choice in your hands is what this baby is all about. And hopefully you'll spend a few bucks at Amazon to keep the genome going. Or you can just keep downloading the stuff for free (which is evil and you will suffer a horrible death for it).

Be there or be square.

p.s. - if you haven't yet read this killer blond joke, you should because it is really funny!

Bible in One Year

2006-01-02T00:32:00.000-08:00

If any of you are interested in reading the entire bible through in a year, you should check out the One Year Bible Blog. It is basically a resource site, which includes a reading plan, links to commentaries and devotionals, sweet images, and a whole of other cool stuff! You can sign up for a daily email with all the links you will ever need to make it through the journey.

Hey it's Jan 1st, so it's not too late to start!

This image was from yesterday's post. It is an oil by Caravaggio titled "The Inspiration of St. Matthew", circa 1602.

Boarding

2005-12-20T21:21:00.000-08:00

Just got back from boarding all day at Whistler. I am sore all over, so it is lucky Melissa has some T3's left over from her wisdom teeth extraction a month or two ago. A couple of those, a glass of whisky, and I'll see you next Friday.

Whistler: beautiful one day, pouring down with freezing rain the next. Lucky for us we chose to go boarding on the day when everything turned to ice. Made stacking out really fun, that's for sure. I think I may have ruptured a kidney, a vertebrae, and ingested about 4 gallons of slush.

Funnest bit: having to wait for about 25 mins, while suspended 30 feet in the air on a chair-lift that had stopped moving, while freezing rain slashed viscously at my face, while all the Aussies that run the place try to figure out what's gone wrong. Did I mention it was also blowing a gale? And that I was soaking wet? And that the wind, ice, wet-clothes, and sub-zero temps combination, is neither good for one's general disposition, nor for the well-being of one's genitals as they freeze to the chair-lift seat?

Can't wait to get back.

Australia Got Drunk Last Night

2005-12-15T15:39:00.000-08:00

Looks like my travels home will be a little less expensive now.

Blog Links Updated!

2005-12-15T01:25:00.000-08:00

Finally. Check them out, lots of good stuff. Except that wifey has a new blog now, which I couldn't find, so hers hasn't been updated since last year. I will correct this as soon as possible.

Must go to bed now, as I have to be up again in 5 hours.

PS - if you're not linked and you think you should be, let me know. Especially you Ann Chow. What is your blog url again?

Sunday at the Chan

2005-12-12T14:06:00.000-08:00

I am going to break one of my own blogging rules here, and talk about my church. Generally I don't - with the exception of my earliest posts - because, well, my blog is for me to post stuff I find interesting, not to talk about my 'profession' as it were. Not that I consider it a profession; I prefer words like 'vocation' or 'calling', but, you know.

So my church, UTown, tried out the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts this weekend. It was a hoot. Things got off to a bit of a shaky start: running late, a couple of kids went missing (not really); but after the initial hurdle we were going off like a bucket of prawns in the sun.

Highlight 1: seeing John Fluevog in a mumu (sp?) as a shepherd in our 'Adult Christmas Pageant'. He definitely gets the award for the 'funkiest shepherd in Bethlehem'. Speaking of our Christmas Pageant, basically my Worship Pastor and Kids Pastor twisted my arm and convinced me (at very short notice) to run the play using adult actors, after it became clear that the kids weren't going to be ready in time.

Highlight 2: sweetest James Brown-ish version of 'We three Kings' I ever did hear. In fact, the 'Heavenly Host Band' (the name adopted by our worship band this week), was so sweet, it was sweeter than u2's sweetest thing, and that's sweet. Our three Kings were pretty sweet too: one of the kings even had a crown complete with flashing LED lights. They were definitely well accessorised, in their blue satin bath robes and plastic jewelry.

Highlight 3: being in a worship space that didn't stink like rotting wood, mouldy carpet, and 30 years of neglect, (and having a cinema screen to project stuff onto!)

Bummer 1: having to move all our sound gear to the Chan and back again.

Bummer 2: the fact that the worship space was a cinema and therefore acoustically dead. It was ear drum bursting loud at the front, and very quiet at the back. The space sucked up the sound (including our voices) like a... rather dry sponge suddenly made wet, or something. We are used to being jammed in together like sardines, and not only can we smell each other intimately, we can hear each other sing. I missed that.

Bummer 3: the cost, but I won't go into that.

Oh yes, my in-laws (including my sister-in-law, and her hubbie) are in town, which has added to the craziness quota for sure. But things are good. They're still grieving the loss of their daughter/sister to Canada, and so that has caused a bit of angst, but that's the way it goes when two become one, we "leave our father and mother..."

Spiritual insight of the week: just finished reading "Christ the Lord" by Anne Rice (see previous post), and it was a beautiful and ennobling experience to read it. I felt touched by the glory and the mystery of God as I closed the book, and contemplated the final sentence: " 'Father,' I said. 'I am your Child.' " Jesus was sensitively and with obvious love, presented as a real human child, struggling with his growing awareness that he is also different; that he is also divine. A compelling, historical, and expertly researched book that avoids sentimentality, but presents a vivid picture of the world Jesus would have grown up in. Nonetheless, the whole thing reads like a prayer.

Anne Rice...

2005-11-30T10:33:00.000-08:00

...of Interview with a Vampire fame (author of), has recently become a Christian. Not only is this awesome from the eternal soul-ish perspective, but now I can read her vampire novels guilt free! I have always been a big fan of her writing (I'm a sucker for a good vampire story - read Stoker's Dracula when I was 9), and now I can read them for "research". That is, I'll be looking to see how she wrestles with God, like Jacob, in her novels; I'm spying out those autobiographical moments so I can use them as sermon illustrations... or something.

Thanks Paul for the tip off, and the link.

Decision

2005-11-29T22:41:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to stop growing up and acting my age. Acting one's age is such a bore, not to mention a metaphysically spurious occupation. After all, what is age? It is rather like asking, "what is the Real?", which leads to an endless regression of questions stretching out into infinity and beyond (unless you answer simply "God" - but that might sound pantheistic). Anyway, you could spend your life asking such questions, and then you die. And what will you have to show for it? A life lived 'acting one's age', that's what. I would prefer my epitaph to say, "A trifle silly, but fun (in a serious sort of way)." I imagine that most epitaphs read something ghastly like, "he was dead while he was alive, and then his body agreed to join in."

I'm though acting my age: it is time to frolic.

Ever wanted to get a Christian tat?

2005-11-21T21:06:00.000-08:00

Well, here is your one-stop-shop for all your research needs. http://www.religioustattoos.net/

Boy, there are a lot of weird people out there, let me tell ya: some of the tattoos are just plain wrong. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not against tats, there are heaps that are wicked sick - but this is pushing the envelope I think. I don't know about you, but I just don't think I could bring myself to putting that on the back of my neck.

Toronto

2005-11-18T22:11:00.000-08:00

Today could only be satisfactorily described as an exercise in overstimulation. And since my synapses are buzzing with all the things I've experienced, this blog is going to be a quick therapeutic download of all my mental impressions: a scramble of words slammed into cyberspace as fast as I can type.

- Morning: attended the final session of the church planting conference, and listened to two amazing messages that both said the same thing: the gospel is a dangerous story that must not be made safe, else we loose the revolutionary world changing edge of its message. This is the gospel espresso style: straight up, sharp, fast, bitter and sweet and satisfying all at the same time. One message was delivered by an indigenous canadian from Alberta, very funny and deeply heart-wrenching as he communicated the compassion he feels for his damaged people. The other message was by Erwin McManus from LA. He was mind-blowing. He had me squirming in my seat. Classic line: "Would I intentionally and knowingly put my children in harm's way for the sake of the gospel? Of course." Check out his book "The Barbarian Way". It is a lot better than it sounds.

- Morning Tea: chatting in a stumbling kind of way with a couple from Quebec who have started a new church in Quebec city. Lovely people, very warm. It is awesome, church planter that I am, to discuss the trials and the joys that come with planting a new church, with others who get what you're talking about... even if you have to say it slowly and repeat it often and do a lot of talking with your hands. Their English was pretty bad, my French was worse. Que? Oh yeah, sorry, that's Spanish.

- Lunch: Riding the Rocket to downtown.

- Afternoon Tea: check-in at Hostel. Drag really heavy suitcase up four flights of stairs. No lift. Worried about the fact that the hostel is a fire bomb waiting to happen, and I'm on the top floor. Notice that there are no obvious fire escapes... likely a fitful sleep is ahead of me tonight.

- Afternoon Tea and a bit: walk up Spadina to Chinatown, as it starts to snow. Why today? The one day I have to walk around T.O. and it is snowing! Put hands in all kinds of places to try to keep my fingers from freezing off. Decide not to buy gloves because I never wear them in Vancouver. Regret later not buying gloves when I discover I can't move my little finger.

- Afternoon Tea and a bit more: trundle over to Kensington Market. Smile to myself as I watch a bunch of Jamaican Guys in full Jamaican Regalia having a street Reggae Dance Party like it's 40 degrees and we're all at the beach. I wonder if they notice it is snowing? Plenty of pot smoke wafting around...

- Afternoon Tea and a bit later: dash into a cute little cafe on Kensington Ave just as the snow starts to get heavy(ish). A sign on the cafe door promises the "Best Coffee In Toronto". I'm deeply suspicious but I decide to give them a try. In the process of trying to pay the cashier I somehow managed to rip one of the buttons off my coat. What ensues next is a crazy shuffle game as the cashier and I move around the ice-cream freezer bins trying to retrieve my button from the floor. The coffee wasn't too bad in the end, sure I've had better, but the ambiance of being indoors and warm, drinking a latte while watching the snow fall outside was worth the price of admission.

- Late Afternoon: I brave the snow once more, in search of a place where I can go to the loo without fear of catching hepatitis C... the cafe might have had the "best" coffee but the washrooms were like something from a diarrhea sufferers convention.

- Rode a Street Car (a "Tram" for my Aussie readers) to Yonge street. Did some shopping for wifey. Feeling sad because I miss my wife (I've been in Ontario for a week now) and really want to find a nice present (but not having much luck).

- Dinner Time: ate a bad souvlaki at "Jimmy The Greek" in the Eaton Centre Food Court. I've been suffering from indigestion since. I know, anyone who eats at a place called "Jimmy The Greek" deserves to be afflicted for their sheer stupidity.

- Evening: watched "Everything is Illuminated" at the movies. I've read the book too. A good adaptation; the film carried the humour and creativity of the book quite well, and it treated the painful elements of the story with a great deal of sensitivity and beauty. Very good as far as adaptations go; not as good as the "English Patient" though.

- Late Evening: walked home from the movies back to the hostel. Watched people getting frisked by Security at the entrances of a couple of nightclubs, and witnessed a couple of kids getting busted by the cops for an attempted car-jacking. I don't think I've seen anyone being frisked at a nightclub in Vancouver, but then I don't go to the clubs very often. I'm pretty sure I've never seen a car-jacking either. There were cops everywhere. I chatted to one cop who was standing near the corner of my street, and was very surprised to discover he was an Aussie.

- Back at Hostel, I am sitting typing this blog in the common room, and just saw a mouse run right past my foot. This is going to be an interesting night.

Quote of the Day

2005-11-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

On Christian Spirituality:

"The Roots are more important than the Leaves."

- Anon (overheard in the lobby of a church).

Strange Customs

2005-11-14T20:43:00.000-08:00

I'm currently in Ontario, in Ayr to be precise, which is a little town just outside Kitchener/Waterloo. I'm here for a church visit and a conference. Strangely enough, there was an Ayr just outside our hometown in Australia, and apparently there is one in Scotland too. How about that!

I'm staying with the "Werner family" here in Ayr, a great bunch of folks. They have put me up despite the fact that Mrs Werner is in bed recovering from surgery. I spoke to Mrs Werner tonight, after three days of loafing around her house. Grandma Werner is also here running the place, cooking meals etc., while Mrs Werner sleeps and Mr Werner works (he's running the conference I'm here to attend).

Grandma Werner is an awesome cook. So far I've had the most awesome apple pie ever, three nights in a row! Her pastry skills are immense. Immense pastry skills: that is something I hope to have when I grow up.

Ok, so onto some weird observations of life in Ontario:

1 - Apple Pie and Cheese: in Ontario, apparently they compliment their apple pie and cream with a great huge chunk 'o cheese. That's right, they sit it there on the side of their plate with the apple pie, and eat the pie and cheese simultaneously. Simultaneously! And they tell me Vegemite is weird. I was offered some cheese, of course, which I politely refused. Grandma then gives me a stern look and says: "Apple pie without cheese, is like a hug without a squeeze." I chuckled nervously thinking she was seriously going to make me try it. But, the Werners are all good sports and they just laughed at me and shook their heads at my misfortune of missing out on this culinary delight.

2 - Milk in a Bag: yep. I heard about this on Chublin's blog, but I thought those glory days were gone in Canada. Apparently not in Ontario. The milk comes in a bag. It goes into this plastic receptacle designed to hold said bag, of which one cuts off the corner in order to pour the milk. They tell me here that it is easy to recycle the bags, which is why it is done, while milk cartons can't be recycled. Whatever happened to glass? I remember getting the milk delivered in glass when I was a kid. I told Lissa about this milk-in-a-bag thing, and she shouted with joy and said when she was a kid, living in rural Australia, that the milk came in a bag also. So, the truth is out. Australians really are as weird as Canadians.

3 - The ou diphthong. WAY more common here than in Vancouver. Now THAT'S the Canadian accent I'm familiar with - growing up watching "You can't do that on Television", "Degrassi", and "Beachcomers", as I did. (Although I always found beachcomers a little weird - I think the music used to freak me out.)

4 - French Road Signs: are a little more common. As are bi-lingual people. I've heard more French in the last three days than I've heard in three years in the 'Couv.

5 - Speeding Drivers: everyone seems to be in a rush to get somewhere in Ontario. In the 'Couv if someone drives over 55 kph it's a friggin' miracle.

6 - Land. Lot's of it. The buildings aren't as jammed together as in Vancouver. There is way more space between houses, lots are bigger, you can see the sky between apartment buildings, roads are wider, there are even a whole bunch of vacant lots and, shock horror, undeveloped paddocks. I haven't seen this much open space since driving through Nevada, and that land sucks so it doesn't really count.

7 - Trees. By this I mean, trees other than those of the pine variety. Sure there are a few other kinds of trees in the 'Couv, but in Ontario, everywhere one casts ones eye, it is sure to light upon an Oak, or a Maple, or an Elm, or some such. Of course, none of them have any foliage at the moment, which is a bummer, because of heard of the famous Ontario fall colours, but still, it is a nice change.

8 - Hockey. Everything in Ontario is Hockey, Hockey, Hockey. I've learned more about that good ol' game, again in the three days... you get the idea. Ontario folks are Hockey fiends, that's all there is to it. Come on Vancouver, where's your team spirit?!

9 - Coffee. It sucks in Ontario. It just aint Vancouver on the coffee front. Let's see, you can either have Tim Horton's liquid asphalt, or Starbucks crap in a cup. Pass.

10 - Christians. There are way more Christians in Ontario than in just about anyplace I've ever seen. It seems like the whole of the Kitchener/Waterloo area is lined with one massive church building after another. Too many churches, not enough Jesus. The Christians are quite conservative here too. I was telling one dude about my regular jaunts to the pub and he gave me 'the look'. Yep, complete with slightly raised eyebrows. I guess drinking = bad in the Ontario church scene.

The church I visited was cool. It is a seven year old plant into the University of Waterloo. They have about 600 odd folks attending now. They run two services: Elevation on Sunday mornings: a laid back, short, family oriented thing; and The Embassy on Monday nights. The Embassy was more my style: louder, more guitars, sweet drums, good preach, some cool visuals. I came early and sat up near the front. Before long, as other where finding seats, a girl sat to my right who smelled like apples, and a girl sat to my left who smelled of Strawberries. I chatted to both, they were nice kids. They invited me to hang out with them and their friends after church, but I declined (I had another thing to go to). However, despite the open friendliness, the service will always be known to me as "The Fruit Salad". I felt like I was an orange in a fruit bowl the whole time.

Song of Solomon... Literally.

2005-10-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered what the woman described in Song of Songs might look like if you interpreted the poetry with a strictly literalist reading?

Here is you chance to find out.

Bush Appoints New Leader, plus some other stuff.

2005-10-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

According to The Onion, Bush is about to appoint someone to be in charge of the country. Via.

I love The Onion.

Also in the news, this time from the BBC, apparently (and contrary to popular opinion) the number of wars going on around the globe has actually been decreasing since the end of the Cold War. And not only has warfare generally been on the wane, but the number of people who die in each armed conflict has been decreasing. This means: fewer wars and fewer casualties per war. Finally, the number of civilians who have died as the result of armed conflict is much lower than the researchers expected, and lower generally than the numbers who died in conflict prior to the Cold War. Link.

What this does for dispensational theology is anybodies guess. I wonder if this information will reach the "researchers" behind the Rapture Index?

Marriage

2005-10-14T12:05:00.000-07:00

A lot has been going on relating to marriage lately. I preached a sermon a couple of weeks ago from Eph 5 on marriage, which went well. I'm pretty sure I drove home the "submit" message pretty clearly (the ladies in our church have taken to wearing hankies on their heads), and wifey has given me a foot massage every day since (cough).

I'm "officiating" at a sort-of wedding this weekend; a young couple in our church will likely be getting married soon-ish; and Lissa and I have been attending a marriage course these last 3 weeks, which has been going really well. The course is titled "Marriage: how to get your wife to do everything, while you watch TV." Just kidding.

The course has actually been really positive, it has opened opportunity for us to clear away some of our lingering issues and press on into new ground. I'm really looking forward to week six. (If you say that with a kiwi accent you'll know exactly what I mean).

Did I just really publish that to my blog?

"my pastor is not a 'heavy robed dude'"

2005-09-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

So I decided to be a total dweeb tonight and scan through my stat counter. I did this for two reasons: firstly, because my hits have been spiking lately, and secondly, due to said hits increase I wanted to find out where all these new people are coming from. How are they finding me? In the process of investigating this, I discovered that someone apparently googled "my pastor is not a heavy robed dude" and came across my blog. Weird.

Culture watch: did anyone note the connection to 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure'?

Sunday's Sermon

2005-09-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

George Bernard Shaw once said, "I often quote myself. It adds such spice to conversation."

And I intend to do that right here.

On Sunday I preached from Eph 4:17-25. Here is a little snip from my notes.

By implication this text [Eph 4:17-25] is about idolatry. Sin is a turning from God to the idol of self. We give ourselves to this idol and end up being controlled by it; we become the slaves of our own desires, needs and addictions. These desires deceive us because they promise happiness and fulfilment but cannot ever provide it. Instead, they destroy us. They will eat us alive like a cancer. The problem with idols, as Tom Wright points out, is that “idols demand sacrifices.” (Wright, Tom. Bringing the Church to the World. Minneapolis: Bethany, 1992. p. 48) These idols will call on us to sacrifice our lives and the people we love in its service. But we will never be able to pay the cost of the sacrifice, it is too great. The judgement of sin – at least in part – is that people are given over to their sins. The consequence of sin is its own punishment. But human beings were made for so much more, for such a higher calling than to be slaves to an idol, including the idol of self. The only way to find our lives and live as true humans made in the image of God, is to uncurl ourselves from ourselves, and to open our lives to Christ and to others.

The Past Crashed...

2005-09-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

...into my present on Wednesday.

An old friend, Dayna Roberts, sent me an email a little while ago saying that she was stopping in Vancouver for a day and would we like to meet for coffee? Coffee? How about you stay at my place and we hang out for the day? So on Wednesday she arrived on Air Canada flight 855 (delayed) from London, and I didn't recognise her at first because she was wearing glasses - a new addition to the facial arrangement. She had been traveling overseas with her husband Dean and had the kind of plane ticket where you needed to stop in at least one North American city. Dayna knew I was in Vancouver and decided to stop here en route to Sydney to say hello. Dean was heading to Oregon to join a vineyard there for a month. Dean is currently learning to make wine. He has a job lined up at a vineyard in a beautiful part of Australia (Diamond Valley) when he gets back. Somehow he landed an opportunity to hone his skills at an American vineyard; thought he'd give it a go. Why not. So while Dean went straight on to Portland, Dayna dropped in to see beautiful Vancouver.

I have known Dayna since Grade 4. We were mates from church and we both lived "up in the mountains" of the Strezlecki Ranges that surround the LaTrobe valley in Gippsland, Victoria. My family used to run a large holiday facility there (we had horses and adventure sports and lots of awesome hikes and snakes and koalas and the like...) called "Jumbuk Park". Dayna and her sister Shahan used to come to our place and ride horses and go swimming in our lake and join the camps that we would run for city kids. Quite possibly some of the best times of my life.

The last time I saw Dayna was in Adelaide of 2000. Lissa and I traveled there to attend the national Assembly of the Uniting Church of Australia. The Assembly was a terrible experience (it was at the assembly that I decided I could no longer be a member of that denomination); however, we both loved Adelaide and the surrounding hills. We took a trip up to the mountain town of Sterling: a place so quaint and beautiful it took our breath away. Dayna and Dean were living there at the time; they had rented a small stone cottage that was once the servant's quarters for a big old hotel. The hotel had at one time been turned into a residence, but had recently been re-sold and was in the process of becoming a hotel again.

It must have been around that time that Dean got interested in viticulture and winemaking, which would make sense, since he and Dayna were living just a few minutes from the Barossa valley (possibly the best wine region of Australia).

Dayna and Dean had spent the last 12 months traveling through India and Europe, but were getting ready to head home, settle down, and go the way of all flesh.

The experience was all very surreal and disorientating. I felt like my childhood ran full-steam into my present Adult life, with all its angst and expanding waistline reality.

I showed Vancouver off to Dayna, and she thought it was beautiful. We rode the buses; went downtown and ate lunch and Subees with Tracy; I showed Dayna some of my favourite shops; we went to Stanley park very briefly; we drove along the beach; and we admired the downtown buildings glistening in the afternoon sun (I told her that Vancouver was chrisened by Douglas Copeland as "the city of glass"). We talked all about her adventures in Europe; my adventures church-planting in Vancouver; and we reminisced about the good old days when we had no responsibility and could ride horses through the fragrant Eucalypt forests of the Victorian mountains, with the Cockatoos sqwaking overhead...

It was hard to say goodbye. I couldn't help feeling that a little piece of my past life was once again slipping away through my fingers. I couldn't help but feel sad that time had moved on so quickly. How could I have imaged then where I am now? And yet here I am, and there Dayna went, back to my beloved soil, back into the world of memories and broken hearts and forgotten dreams that only long-lost friends can reawaken.

This will break your heart.

2005-09-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

I am rich. God help me.

OK Starbucks, you win.

2005-09-08T00:19:00.000-07:00

We give up.

Perfume!

2005-09-07T23:17:00.000-07:00

I am SO EXCITED by some fantastic news I just serendipitously discovered. One of my favourite novels, Perfume by Patrick Suskind, is being made into a movie and will be directed by none other than Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run; The Princess and the Warrior; Heaven; True; Winter Sleepers), who is one the best directors around (Run Lola Run remains one of my all-time favourite films... after all, how can you fault a film that quotes TS Elliot in the opening credits!) I simply cannot think of a better person to direct this film! Oh yes!

Happy days!

Check it all out here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0396171/

And if you've never read Perfume, then you are missing out on one of the creepiest, funniest, olfactorally explorative, and creative critiques of the Enlightenment ever written. It also inspired Kurt Cobain (from Nirvana you dweebs) to write the song "Scentless Apprentice."

Read the first page and I guarantee you will be hooked. (By the way, the average customer rating for this book at Amazon.com is 4.5 stars after 310 reviews! And, I GUARANTEE this book will never ever make it onto Oprah's book club list. If that fact alone doesn't make you nearly wet your pants in anticipation at the thought that YOU TOO can read this book, then you are a shirtlifter and don't deserve to read it anyway.)

ps - Coops, do you have my copy of the book?

An oldie but a goodie...

2005-09-06T23:55:00.000-07:00

Jesus said to some Anglicans, "Who do you say that I am?"

They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma through which we find ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships."

And Jesus said, "What?"

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism

2005-09-06T10:17:00.000-07:00

For those of you confused by this title; go here and here first

Personally, I think that the critique FSM raises is valid, namely, what, ultimately, does the "intelligent design" theory achieve? At best, it points (arguably) to the existence of a distant creative power, who could be either the god of the bible or the flying spaghetti monster, or buddha, or allah, or a nameless mystical force that permeates and unites all things. Who or what "the intelligent designer" is, cannot be answered by I.D. (hmmm I wonder what would Freud say about that acronym?). And incidentally, I don't think we get any closer to an ethical imperative through I.D. Although we may assert that a "force" exists that has created all things, there is no place in the theory for a doctrine of sin, or of a fall, or of a redeemer… and because we don’t know who or what this god is, we cannot positively say that we are created in its/his image. Therefore, there is no place in I.D. for an ethics of human life; no way of saying that evil is an unnatural and unwelcome guest; no way of saying what is right or wrong; no way of arguing for or against anything in particular. The world remains trapped in the modern/postmodern double dissolution of profitable functionality and market defined human worth, while the creation remains reduced, and we are still, as Lyotard said, slaves to the mantra "be operational or disappear".
What, then, will I.D. achieve? Since Intelligent Design does not lead us any closer to a god who is involved in the affairs of the world, all the schools that teach it will do (at best) is raise deists, and not necessarily of the Judeo-Christian tradition (that would depend on who’s teaching). The theory simply makes "god" the "god of the gaps" (wherever there is a "gap" in scientific theory that is not easily explained, well, we simply insert "god". Can't find the missing link? The answer is god. Can't explain Quantum mechanics? God.) I.D. is, therefore, a theory that relies on a posteriori arguments for the existence of god. I.D. cannot achieve what many are hoping it will, and it doesn’t let us out of the “trap” that many of its advocates believe science has “put” god into. In I.D. god is still the handmaiden of science: science remains the rule against which we must argue. By this I mean that science remains the battleground; science will set the agenda; I.D. will always be on the defensive; always in a situation of point counter-point. I can see this going nowhere fast.

Back

2005-09-02T23:17:00.000-07:00

Tried typepad. No likes.

Back in action at the blogspot. We'll see how things progress.

Planning to up the ante a little and try to post fairly regularly. We'll see.

For those of you that are interested, Erin is blogging again.

Out.

a new blog...

2005-06-01T23:33:00.000-07:00

I'm trying out a new blog for a while, to see if I like it. My new blog is here: http://theexplosivebreathsoundpop.blogs.com/

I won't be posting here again unless I decide not to go with the new blog. I'll let you know when/if this blog is being shut down for good!

On leading and following

2005-05-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

In Christian circles, critique is often leveled at leaders for not leading well enough, for not being godly, spiritual, powerful, humble (etc!) enough; for not being a good enough preacher; for not being whatever and ever amen... Sometimes this critique is justified, sometimes it isn't...

On the other side of the coin, it is quite rare when the conversation and critique turns toward the "followers". What if the problem were not just that our leaders are lousy, but that we're often very lousy at following? If we were better followers, would our leaders also be better leaders? What if we prayed for and encouraged our leaders as often as we griped about them?

What if?

Read this great article here if you would like to explore this some more.

The Trailer is Up!

2005-05-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

Totally Rockin! The trailer of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" is online, and looks really cool (and by that I mean totally sweet).

Click Here

Or is it...?

2005-05-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that I was so hard on Calvin (and lawyers). Although it is true that Calvin was a lawyer, it is not true that every lawyer has to read scripture like a lawyer (unless you happen to be a Scottish lawyer). Maybe it was watching "Harvey Birdman" that put all this lawyer bungo in my head. Who knows? Anyway, I am sorry about what I said because, truth be told, I totally misrepresented Calvin. Anyone who has read his Institutes knows that Calvin has a profound appreciation for the mystery, the glory, and the majesty of God. In fact, some of his sections are really quite moving. Now if only it wasn't for that double predestination stuff...

Todays thought:

Is it "The Purpose Driven Church"? Or is it "The Purpose of a Driven Church"?

Which one is more correctly theologick than the other?

Comments?

Calvinism

2005-05-24T13:21:00.000-07:00

It just occured to me that Calvinism is what you get when you let a lawyer interpret the Bible. A place for everything and everything in its place. Mystery? Get stuffed.

Thoughts?

My thoughts exactly

2005-05-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

Just read a great article on the "emerging church", it articulated some of my own thoughts very well. Hover your mousey over the title of this blog if you want to read it.

Don't get me wrong, I like the concept of the emerging church, but I also have a lot of concerns with it. Can one adopt some of principles of "being" that drive the movement without buying totally into the praxis? Or is it that we want to adopt the praxis and not the theory? Seems to me that is just being a finicky parasite. I guess the best thing to do would be honest and authentic and present where God has located you, and not try to do what everyone else is doing because it looks like they're having so much fun.

I bought a copy of Carson's new "Becoming Conversant with the Emerging Church" the other day. I haven't read it yet but I can guess what he says about the movement:

"It's wrong. It's dangerous. Admittedly, it's interesting, and they have some innovative ideas, and they're attracting lots of young people, but innovation is scary because there are too many ways in which you can go wrong when you try something new. In conclusion, the movement places too much emphasis on praxis and not enough on orthodox theology...

...besides, they're all a bunch of pelagian gits."

Awesome long weekend

2005-05-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

It's getting close to my bedtime, so this is gonna be speedy, but I need to do a "brain-dump" before I clamber under the covers and curl up with my wife and current book "A short history of nearly everything" by the intrepid Bill Bryson. And what a great read it is! Can't recommend it enuf. Anyway, all that to say it will be a fitting end to a great weekend. (Except I just remembered that there are no sheets on the bed, since I stripped it today to wash the dirty ones, and forgot to remake it. Deary me.)

The weekend in retrospect:

Friday night - Lissa and I had a night in. We rented "Harvey Krumpet" an Australian stop-motion animation that won best animated film at Cannes last year. It was weird, but very funny. It was nice to listen to some Aussie accents.

Saturday - slept in until 10:00 (yup, that's right 10:00! Sorry to those of you with chilblains... I know those days are over for you, and I feel for you. I really do.) It was a mixed blessing though, because when I got up I discovered that my wife had written me a job list. ugh. Those wives - trouble makers I tell ya. The list consisted of three tasks: wash yourself (ok that one wasn't true, what she actually said was "change your underpants"); do dishes; do washing. Fair enough, I know that I gotta pull my weight to make this marriage thing work. But a job list does make you feel kinda juvenile. Rest assured oh fair sex!, I dutifully carried out my tasks like a good boy.

At 11:00 am Glenn arrived to pick Lissa and I up to go on an outing with the Innes' (Glenn, Karin, and Glenn's Ma and Pa). The outing was a very fun hoon around the Howe sound on a rented motor boat, a trip that Lissa organised on a whim the day before. And what fun! You should have seen us: 4 Scots and 2 Aussies trying out our nautical skills. We saw a bunch of Sea Lions, ate lunch by a beautiful little Island called "Anvil Island" and managed not to throw up once! It was a thoroughly relaxing adventure. And to top it all off we had near perfick weather. Afterwards we ate Ice Cream by Horseshoe Bay, and chatted. We got home about 6ish, flopped into bed, and slept until about 9ish. After that I popped over to the DVD store, and rented "what the BLEEP do we know". Which is a stupid, badly filmed, badly scripted, badly scienced (I know it isn't a real word!), propaganda piece for the "Ramtha School of Enlightenment". It is basically a bit of quantum physics, a bit of new-age spirituality, a bit of psychology, a bit of biological chemistry, part documentary, part drama, part bullshit, all shaken together by three very bad directors/writers/producers, who all happen to be disciples of Ramtha. By the way, the "scientists" on the show who get the most air-time also happen to be Ramtha disciples. Coincidence? Does madam Ramtha look possessed during her interview? You betcha. Her real name is J-something-Knight. She claims to be a channel for some ancient warrior-prophet from Atlantis. And this movie really does try to carry itself off as a serious documentary. hmmm

Sunday - went off to a new little church I'm planting (with lots of wonderful people) on the UBC campus. We ate lunch together (thanks John and Ruth for the great tucker!); Glenn lead us in worship; then we had a couple of people tell us their "story", which was followed by us praying for them. It's a wonderful thing God is doing. Exciting days ahead. Next week I start a series on Ephesians that is going to be titled "Infinitely More". After church about a dozen of us went down to Calhouns for afternoon tea, which extended into dinner-time, which extended in everyone coming back to our place to eat sushi and watch a movie. We watched "Ray". Very cool movie. Jamie Foxx was brilliant, it is no surprise that he won the Oscar. Before the movie Lissa and I taught Tracy, Ian, Andrew, Jolyn and Jeremy to do a TIM TAM SLAM! They are now honorary Australians, by virtue of the fact that they didn't screw it up and end up with chocolate all over their shirts, or in their coffee. Fun times.

Monday - slept in AGAIN! (Will this ever end...) Did some more washing; read for a while; chatted with Carolyn and Marty for a bit; then the four of us headed down to Granville Island to meet Ian, Tracy and Judah for lunch and to visit Emily Carr and check out the grad exhibition. Our friend Tyler has a piece in the show. It was very cool. Most innovative idea: custom coffins. For lunch I ate a German Bratwurst, loaded up with sauerkraut, onion, mustard, and bacon. Deerool, deerool. We sat on the deck in the sun, dodging pigeons, Japanese exchange students, and way too many people, and talked about what we are going to call our new church. So far we've been through "Converge", "neXus", "the living room", "the open space", and the latest is "U-Town Church" or "University Town Church" or just "the town church", which is probably my favourite. I know the last few are more on the conservative side, but to be honest, we don't want a name that is going to seem lame in a couple of years, so we're thinking something cool but not too "trendy". An example of trendy: leg-warmers. Sure they're coming back in fashion (like the mullet), but they'll be out fashion again before long. And then where will we be? I guess I should start preaching in leg warmers before it's too late! You can check out the church web-site here.

Ian had a great idea for a church t-shirt today: the word ROCKS! (or RAWKS!) written across the front in big bold letters, with "Jesus" written in a much smaller font just above it or to the side. Something like "WHAM!" wore in the 80's. Although we were thinking more "white on black" as opposed to "pink on white", which is cool, don't get me wrong, it's just so... so... I don't know, it's just so 80's!?! Like leg-warmers and mullets (or "moulet" as it is now called). We got home about 6ish and then Lissa fell asleep, and I watched the entire first season of "Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law." Funny. Weird. Camp. Most often repeated line: "Now that was a MAN kiss!" Afterwards I decided that I wanted to buy a loft and have been searching the web for listings. A loft would be FUN!

Anyway, "life is good and then you die", or, "go to bed", as in this case.

beautiful image

2005-05-22T03:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the previous post, I guess the html was a little scwewy wabbit; I couldn't be bothered fixing it though, so you'll all jsut have to suffer in yer jocks.

Anyway, the point of this post was to link to a beautiful photo I found here.

If it doesn't trouble you deeply then you're a cold hearted fiend.

Nighty night, I'm off to bed now.

the worldview test...

2005-05-22T01:51:00.000-07:00

Ever wondered what factors make up your worldview? Well here it is: a quiz that includes all life's possibilities, cultures, experiences, mysteries and intrigue neatly reduced down to 25 questions. Here is my score: "Cultural Creative". Shoot, and I thought I was a fundamentalist. Well, at least I'm not one of those existentialist types, like the weirdo's from "I heart Huckabees". I guess I'm not a materialist either, sad, I like matter.

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative

81%

Postmodernist

69%

Fundamentalist

56%

Idealist

31%

Romanticist

25%

Modernist

25%

Existentialist

Materialist

What is Your World View? (corrected...again)
created with QuizFarm.com

How the Pope was elected.

2005-04-23T02:34:00.000-07:00

You really have to check this out! A fantastic animation that shows us the inner-workings of the Conclave of Cardinals. For the non-Aussies reading this - in case you don't get it - the guy with the football is George Pell the Aussie cardinal.

YAGOOHOOGLE

2005-04-20T02:42:00.000-07:00

This very cool website allows you to search Google and Yahoo simultaneously. For those of you who value "choice".

You could be the next pope...

2005-04-09T01:45:00.000-07:00

Think about it:

As much holy water as you can drink.
Free clothing and bling-bling.
Your very own "pope-mobile" (I hear that this year, with the rising price of fuel and all, the cardinals have decided that the new mobile-see is going to be one of these). I'll certainly be requesting something a little more sporty.
Free accommodation (they've even installed hot water and a matters this year).
Free access to the nuns.
Oops. My wife tells me "no nuns"; el popo has to wear the funny hat for a reason you know.
Your very own Sistine Chapel, which includes some sweet Michelangelo Frescoes to keep you amused when you're bored with running the Catholic Church.
A marble crypt next to John Paul Sartre II (I didn't know he was a Catholic).
24 hour access to the "man upstairs" (I hear there is a hotline in the Pope's office, in case of emergencies. I wonder what constitutes and emergency? Somehow I doubt "Hey God I've run out of toilet paper!!" would make the cut).
A throne, and no, not of the loo variety.
Your very own bull, called (imaginatively) "the papal bull".
Something about choir boys.
"What about choir boys?"
"Shut up Michael, you're in enough trouble as it is".
A gang of men dressed in red, who do nothing but hang around all the time and eat your food, while waiting for you to die.
A fan-club of over a billion people.

There is only one down side:

No sex for all eternity.

But hey, you get a free "thrice-blessed" t-shirt just for applying, so you might as well give it a shot.

Most Boring Jobs

2005-04-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

Inspired by another blog, and also by Erin's catalogue of complaints, I got to thinking about some of the jobs I've done over the years:

Debt collector; telemarketer; quality control "officer" for instant coffee packaging; roasting, flavouring and distributing coffee beans; de-tiling roofs; McDonald's "crew member"; safewalker at UBC; advertising consultant for a newspaper; part-time teacher at a bible college; video library cataloguer and archivist (I've done it too Coops); student council president; young adults ministry leader; pastor; service consultant for a telco company; state and national representative for the Queensland Synod of the UCA; professional student; summer school Dean's assistant at Regent; TA for a couple of classes; and the latest: church planter; plus a whole bunch of other stuff I've forgotten about...

The most boring? ARCHIVING AND CATALOGUING A LIBRARY FOR SURE! I'm with ya Coops.

The End is nigh...

2005-03-30T16:00:00.000-08:00

Frightening little article on the state of the environment. The good news (not mentioned in the article) is that FINALLY popular Christian leaders in the US are figuring out that God's people need to rediscover their God-given mandate as the earth's gardeners, and are trying to 'rally the troops'.

Another reason why I love the Lord of the Rings: the hero was 'just' a gardener.

Googlism

2005-03-21T23:25:00.000-08:00

Following Erin's lead, I thought I would try a little googlism of my own. Here are the funniest entries for "australia". My comments are in brackets.

australia is not sweden (phew, for a minute there...)
australia is one of six (what? rowdy teenagers harassing the neighbours?)
australia is expecting (a baby)
australia is an active and expanding company (something we share in common with Canada then!)
australia is one of queensland's leading hotels (damn queenslanders think they own the place)
australia is more than just kangaroos and cricket (yes, we should not forget 'beer' and 'rude')
australia is one big outback
australia is outlawing fun (wowsers)
australia is "basically the same place" as new zealand (get stuffed)
australia is no longer just for the young embargo (yes the old are always welcome)

And here are the entries for "tim":

tim is gestopt (do they mean gestalt or despot? either will probably do fine)
tim is up in 1856
tim is a very special person
tim is an evil liar
tim is insensitive
tim is faded
tim is a very lazy bass player (it's true...)
tim is not one (I am many)
tim is up in the stock round (yeah my "TIM Inc." shares are trading well, buy some)
tim is just your everyday poser
tim is jarig (I don't even know what that means)
tim is rock & roll's legendary... bottom end and vanilla fudge (ok so I edited that one a little)
tim is second generation software
tim is that warm
tim is the main person who decides (you better believe it)
tim is a third generation racer
tim is desperate
tim is the bestest
tim is the founding director of humanity's adulthood
tim is the doogie houser of the internet (that ROCKS)

The five best:
tim is a lobsterman whom dog lady met
tim is (at least that is what my existential detective told me)
tim is quite a cruncher
tim is baffled by his unpopularity
tim is the new fish

The Spirit

2005-03-16T17:14:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Stan

2005-03-14T10:46:00.000-08:00

We will miss you. Not just because of "what you might have written", but mostly because you were a humble, gracious, generous and loving saint, who chose theology in order to build the body of Christ, and you certainly played your part in the formation of my faith. When every road looked like a dead-end street, I read your "Primer" and re-gained a confident faith in Jesus Christ.

Thank you Stan Grenz. I will pray for your wife and family as they try to live on without you.

Mormons

2005-03-06T01:00:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or does it seem from this picture that if you want to become a Mormon (not that I do), you must first possess a top row of straight pearly-white teeth? If you don't get the image straight away (it's obvious trust me - you'll know it when you see it), then hit 'refresh' a coupla times. It'll come up eventually.

And yes, you were all correct. 42 certainly is most definitely the answer.

The following information is provided by that most handy of web-resources: Wikipedia!

"According to the Hitchhiker's Guide, researchers taking the form of mice, which are actually 3-dimensional profiles of a pan-dimensional, hyper-intelligent race of beings, construct Deep Thought, the second greatest computer of all time and space, to calculate the answer to the Ultimate Question. After seven and a half million years of pondering the question, Deep Thought provides the answer: "forty-two".

"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"

"I checked it very thoroughly," said the computer, "and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is."

Deep Thought informs the researchers that it will design a second and greater computer, incorporating living beings as part of its computational matrix, to tell them what the question is. That computer was called Earth and was so big that it was often mistaken for a planet.

The question was lost minutes before it was due to be produced, due to the Vogons' demolition of the Earth, supposedly to build a hyperspace bypass. (Later in the series, it is revealed that the Vogons had been hired to destroy the Earth by a consortium of philosophers and psychiatrists who feared for the loss of their jobs when the meaning of life became common knowledge.)"

Erudite. That's all I have to say about that.

Except this one last thing: the whole entry reminds me of a Terry Pratchett novel. Are any of you out there Pratchett fans?

The Hitchhiker is BACK

2005-03-04T13:49:00.000-08:00

For those of you out there that were fans of the original BBC production of "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", you might be pleased (or not) to hear that a new feature length remake is on its way.

Check out the very cool trailer here.

A quiz for real fans of the series: "what is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?"

Answer will appear tomorrow. Leave a comment if you want to have a stab at it.

I don't feel like blogging anymore.

2005-02-27T00:18:00.000-08:00

I can't understand it... am I unwell?

Maybe the feeling came on me when I saw this blog. "Too busy living to blog"; is that my problem? Or am I just being slack? Well it makes me feel better to so that hey, bugger this, "I'm too busy LIVING to blog!"

The truth is I never had great designs for this blog. It was always intended to be just a bunch of crap that I collected to amuse myself in my "spare" time. I did it 'cos I wanted to give it a shot. But it isn't fun anymore. Perhaps it is seeing all the other great blogs out there that I feel under pressure to perform: to be witty and charming and to uniquely represent my quirky and original view of the world. Whatever.

Actually I don't feel particularly pressured, so that's not it. I don't feel the need to make this more than it was intended, which was not much.

So, we'll see. Maybe I'll keep blogging. But I promise to keep it mundane and fairly below average. If that's ok with you.

Church AGM and some other stuff.

2005-02-21T13:30:00.000-08:00

So we had our Annual General Meeting at church on Sunday night, and what a bizarre experience it was. This is the only church I have ever been in that has an AGM which is fun and leaves you feeling positive about the overall health and vitality of its life and mission together. A real buzz. I mean, we spent most of the time talking about whether certain members of the staff are paid enough for the work they do. Sure, there is no mystery about the fact that ministers generally are paid way less than they could earn in other jobs. But no-one enters ministry for the pay, well, some might, but those types usually end up cheating on their spouse as well. Let's just say that I am pumped to be in a church that actually cares for its pastors in a way I've never ever seen before. Sigh, to whom much is given much is required. This Jesus bloke, he makes life tough sometimes - sheesh.

I just wanted to tell you all that I SLEPT IN today! And you know what? I don't feel guilty about it AT ALL. The reason: I preached yesterday, and I felt totally knackered when I woke up this morning, so I decided that I deserved to sleep in, and I don't feel like I wasted the day one little bit.

Nope... nothing, zip, naught, zero...

...ok, so maybe I felt a little guilty, but none of you negative vibe merchants have the right to bring me down about it.

Chocolate

2005-02-11T13:04:00.000-08:00

Today I indulged myself in a 'chocolate taste-testing extravaganza'. My medium was chocolate of the Lindt variety, given to me by the wife of my youth (and hopefully of my old age - God willing), as a pre-valentines day present.

I'm not really a 'gift' person, except when the said gift belongs in the 'edible' category. These chocolates certainly did the trick. As it happens, my wife gave me chocolate from the "excellence" range of Lindt chockies, which include such wonders as 85% cocoa mass, 70% cocoa mass, normal milk chocolate, and white chocolate (which is mostly made of cocoa-butter). The extravaganza was to eat a square of chocolate from each of the above 4 varieties and see which one I liked the best.

Thesis: Chocolate rules and I am the best judge of it - and if you don't agree you can go and eat dirt, or not. GOSH!
Purpose of the experiment: to eat chocolate and judge my reactions.
Equipment: Lindt Chocolate of four (4) varieties: 85% Noir, 70% Noir, Lait, and Blanc; my tongue; my exceptionally sharp sense-evaluation centre (my brain); and my impeccable taste (related specifically to style and breeding.)
Control: ?

Here is a picture of the chocolate in question.

Evaluation: I started with the 85% and worked down from there. The 85% was quite bitter, definately an "eye-squinter" (not unlike chewing on a coffee bean). Not my favourite, but something I could probably work towards over time, like my long-established addiction to caffeine.
The 70% was really very good. Like a smooth red wine. In fact, I could imagine a nice juicy rich Shiraz suiting Lindt 70% quite well. It had a very interesting "orange-like" aftertaste: a faint citrus note subtly rounding off the earthy cocoa taste.
Having consumed two quite dark chocolates, the Lait didn't taste anything like chocolate, as the fatty-creamy consistency seemed to have overpowered the cocoa content. Probably quite nice, but not after the 70%. It would have to be all or nothing with this one: don't mix your chocolates folks! Would work with a cup of coffee, but not tea (hey, I'm a preacher after all - I couldn't possibly drink tea).
The Blanc tasted like I'd just shoved a spoon-full of butter in my mouth. Not very plesant at all. Unless you like butter, or not-butter.

Conclusion: Chocolate Rocks! But not all chocolate is equal. The 70% was my favourite by far, and if you don't agree I'm going to set my ninjas onto you.

And as they say here in North America: "peace out". (Or if you are a Christian it is: "Blessings, and have a blessed day in the blessing of the Almighty who lives and reigns forever, hallelujah amen!" Or if you're around the heathen it is "Jesus Loves You. Would you like to kneel with me right now and say the sinner's prayer?")

I know which salutation I prefer!

sighing and groaning

2005-02-04T01:27:00.000-08:00

So I'm preaching on Sunday, three times in fact, but using two different sermons. Phew.

To be honest, I am really struggling. I haven't been lazy. I haven't neglected to prepare. But I feel so overwhelmed by the immensity of the (Sunday morning) topic that it is swallowing me up. I just can't seem to get a clear angle. Need to pray more I guess. I need to the Spirit to guide me. I need to know what to leave out for another time. On top of that there is the constant nagging thought that I'm the biggest hypocrite that has ever lived. Every preacher feels it (well, they SHOULD anyway), and no preacher ever really conquers it - that fine line between knowing you are called to proclaim the Truth and knowing that you don't live it, at least not as well as you should (which is how everyone feels, if we're honest with ourselves). I guess preachers are human too.

Sigh.

Anyway, if you've ever wondered what it feels like to prepare and preach a sermon, read this.

Also I found the thing below on another blog. I hope it makes you smile and nod. It made me smile and nod.

Cause and Effect

God gave us the sun and the stars and the winds, and people worshiped the sun and the stars and the winds, instead of the God who made them.

Then God gave us the Law and people worshiped the Law instead of the God who spoke it.

No matter what God gave us, we ultimately found ourselves worshiping that thing, and not God.

So God gave us himself instead.

The Insanity Test

2005-02-02T14:28:00.000-08:00

You may have seen this before, but take another look anyway, some of you might find it helpful.

The Spider Web

2005-02-01T03:32:00.000-08:00

This blog is hideous. It is written by a man in Kuwait, and dedicated to, yes that is right, spiders.

A very sick individual if you ask me. He actually uses the adjective "cute" in reference to the silently creeping (and creepy!), eight-eyed, shiver inducing reminders of our mortality.

the spiders are seeking revenge

2005-01-27T09:57:00.000-08:00

Perhaps I'm just paranoid, but since my spidery encounter the other night, I have seen two more of the little beasties clambering around near my toes - are they trying to get me? Are they seeking vengeance for my killing of their mate?

Both occurrences were in the bathroom, and both in the dead of night when I had gotten out of bed to do you-know-what.

The first of them I nearly stepped on. He had placed himself by the bathroom door, ready to strike when I absent mindedly put my foot down near his dripping fangs. Thankfully I was awake enough to be prepared for such stealthy spider moves. I quickly finished him off with a handy bottle of bathroom cleaner, which was located on the bench near the door. I sure taught him a thing or two.

The other appeared while I was in an inconvenient seated position (I see no need to elaborate further on that). He was slowly making his way across the bath mat, creeping toward me, trying to look innocent. But I know what he was up to. I know these spider tricks.

The toilet brush soon sent him to spider heaven.

Ugh. The very thought of a "spider heaven" - a place infested with spiders for all eternity - is enough to make me want to faint, vomit and break out in cold sweats all at the same time. Actually, a place like that commonly goes by another name: hell.

spiders

2005-01-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

Someone told me that there were no big spiders in Canada, and you know, they were basically correct if you say compare Canuck Arachnids with the Australian versions; what that person failed to tell me however, was how bold and testy the little buggers are here.

Last night I was sitting at my desk, happily typing an email when I just happened (by the grace and mercy of God Almighty) to look down at my feet (which were bare I hasten to add), to discover a rather large, brown, hairy, 8-eyed terror of the night about to clamber onto my toes.

If I was from Texas I might have said something like “Mercy! Sweet horny toads and lightnin’ Jack, that is the biggest darn spidey I ever did see.”

But I’m not from Texas, I’m from Australia. Consequently my cry of horror is (for a preacher) not printable in this public forum, though it can be represented by symbols: “%@!!#&!”

This loud exclamation of filthy epithets was accompanied by my body leaping nimbly from a seated position to a location about 5 feet in the air. When I landed, I would have fully expected the spider to scarper off to safety, but no, the little blighter actually moved toward me.

Let me explain my fear at this point. For an Australian, the word “spider” can also mean “death via excruciating pain”, because we are blessed to have the deadliest spider in the world, the Funnel-Web.

The Funnel-Web is a large black beast that also happens to be exceptionally aggressive. It is the only spider I know of that is cocky enough to actually attack a human just for the sheer fun of it, and one bite from that anomaly of God’s creation can leave you either dead, or wishing for death. Here is one such beast in the “attack” position.

Thankfully the little brown spider that I thought was about to pounce on my foot and bite my big toe, was just getting his bearings. His lunge forward was quickly followed by a spin around, and hasty retreat under our couch.

That was when I decided he had to die. Sorry to you St. Francis wannabes out there, but after such a nasty fright, I had to seek retribution and purge my fear with a good shedding of spider blood. I quickly grabbed a broom, and carefully pushed the couch away from the wall until I had the little beastie cornered and exposed. Seizing the moment, I brought the broom down hard – whacking the crap out of this harbinger of death and fear.

Unfortunately, my first couple of hits didn’t finish him off, because when I lifted the broom, he went into a spasm of blind fury – charging wildly at my person, ready to kill. But I was ready. And this time I hit him so hard his legs went in twelve different directions.

Satisfied that I had restored the natural order of things, that is, I had reasserted my manly dominance over the house. I was able to relax and go to bed.

Wow ... I'm tired

2005-01-24T08:25:00.000-08:00

Last night was the first of our church plant gatherings for the new year, and we had a great time... We worshipped, we listened to my talking head for a while, but the best bit was when we canned the agenda and simply waited for the Spirit to speak. And He spoke.

I was amazed at the unity of the words: the prayers, the scripture readings, the words of knowledge; they all seemed to resonate with one another. It was so much fun. I love being with the Saints of God and waiting on the Spirit. It is so life giving.

It is also very tiring. This morning I feel like an elephant sat on me during the night while I was sleeping. I feel encouraged in my spirit, but my body feels like a neglected sack of potatoes. Ah flesh, you are so weak... you need a little pampering... So I have decided that today is all about my body. I am going to sit around and read, listen to music, drink coffee, and generally glory in the sweet reverie of procrastination and spine bashing... I wish.

Actually, I have lots of jobs to do: I am in trouble with my wife for not cleaning my "side" of the bedroom; I have to read about 60 pages of my "History of Philosophy" textbook; I have to publish the transcript of last night's meeting on my other blog; I have to catch up on a million neglected emails; and I have to write a proposal for a new young adults "yoof group" that may be starting at our church.

So without further ado, it is time to stop sitting around on my laurels, quit bludging, and "strike a blow".

Bonza!

My Favourite Movies

2005-01-20T01:17:00.000-08:00

I could have listed a few more, but this will have to suffice since it is already long enough.

Favourite Movies (in no particular order)

Comedies/Black Comedies
Lost in Translation
The Royal Tenenbaums
Bottle Rocket
Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
Arsenic and Old Lace
Some Like it Hot
The Party
Trainspotting
Shakespeare in Love
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
Much Ado About Nothing
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Coming of Age
Pieces of April
The Wonder Boys
Billy Eliot
Dead Poets Society
Rebel Without A Cause

Martial Arts/Violent/Tarantino
Pulp Fiction
Kill Bill vol. 1
Reservoir Dogs
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Enter the Dragon

Australian Film
Gallipoli
Breaker Morant
Muriel’s Wedding
Romper Stomper
The Castle
He Died With A Falafel in His Hand
Flirting
The Piano
Shine
Moulin Rouge (yes, it was an Australian production)
Rabbit-Proof Fence
Young Einstein
Strictly Ballroom
They’re a Weird Mob
Two Hands

Documentaries/Mockumentaries
Spinal Tap
Waking Life
Coffee and Cigarettes

European (not UK)
Amelie (French)
Delicatessen (French)
Butterfly (Spanish Title: "La Lengua de las Mariposas”)
Run Lola Run (German)
Three Colours: Red, White, Blue (French)
Goodbye Lenin! (Russian)
It’s a Beautiful Life (Italian)
Waking Ned Devine (Irish)

Animated
The Emperor’s New Groove
The Incredibles
inding Nemo
Watership Down
The Wind in the Willows

War
Schindler’s List
The Great Escape
Where Eagle’s Dare
Enemy at the Gates
Ride with the Devil
The Dam Busters
All Quiet on the Western Front

Drama/Thriller
Magnolia
Dancer in the Dark
To Kill a Mocking Bird
Finding Neverland
Shawshank Redemption
The English Patient
1984
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Seven
Casablanca
Cold Mountain
The Sting
Dances with Wolves
The Shipping News
In America

Chick Flicks
Anne of Green Gables
Pride and Prejudice
The Princess Bride
Breakfast At Tiffany’s

Film Noir
The Maltese Falcon
The Man Who Wasn’t There

Mystery/Hitchcock
Gosford Park
Vertigo
Psycho
Rear Window

Epic/History
Henry V (Kenneth Branagh version)
Frankenstein (Branagh Version)
Braveheart
Gladiator
Master and Commander
Lawrence of Arabia
Elizabeth
Ben-Hur
The Passion of the Christ
The Battleship Potemkin
Citizen Kane

Musicals
Singin’ in the Rain
Mary Poppins
The Sound of Music

Old Black & White British Films (Mum and Dad made me watch, thankfully)
Treasure Island
Oliver Twist
The Adventures of Robin Hood (Errol Flynn)
Mutiny on the Bounty (Flynn)
A Christmas Carol
The Importance of Being Earnest
Goodbye Mr. Chips!

Trilogies/Series
Star Wars (the original three, of course)
LOTR
Back to the Future
Pink Panther
James Bond 007 (Especially: Dr No and Goldfinger).
Indiana Jones

The Spirit of Australia

2005-01-18T18:19:00.000-08:00

This is a classic piece of aussie culture, containing all the key ingredients: satire, meat, beer, and a heavy dose of rude (not crude) language. Includes such classic moments as, "...the soap-avoiding, pot-smoking hippie vegetarians might disagree with me, but they can get stuffed..."

And, if you need to login:

user: corporategreed
pass: corporategreed

happy

2005-01-16T21:55:00.000-08:00

yay! my blog has a new resident... cool eh?

Cat Logic for the New Year

2005-01-11T02:31:00.000-08:00

Ok so this is super cheesy, but still cute enough to be cool.

Having really weird sleep patterns right now. Here is the routine as of the last three days: eat dinner (7), get REALLY tired (7:30), fight it off for as long as possible (8), give in and go to bed (8:05), fall asleep almost instantly (8:07), wake up with a start (1:30 or 2), be wide awake and incredibly thirsty (1:31 or 2:01), get up, get a drink, surf net, read a book (currently enjoying the "No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency" by Alexander McCall Smith), write in my blog (1:32 or 2:02), finally get tired again and go back to bed (3:30 or 4), not be able to get back to sleep so toss and turn until the sun is up (6), get up feeling kinda weird (6:15).

So that's it. Strange huh? Any clues as to why this is happening? Normally I would be up until midnight and then I would sleep pretty well through to 7, with the odd occasional 3am wake-up call from God (to pray that is, which happened alot a few weeks back, but that was a different thing). At the moment it's just like my body runs out of energy at 7:30pm and I totally crash. (??)

Our Fine Yoof Pastor : Practicing Safe Snacks

2005-01-06T15:53:00.000-08:00

Tom Sopwith. Yoof Pastor at Point Grey Community Church, and what a stupendous model of propriety and self discipline he is! Just the sort of person the disrespectful and uncouth yoof of today need. I couldn't think of a finer example of the very qualities that we need to see more of in our society, which is (it saddens my heart to admit) unraveling at the very seams! Loosing itself from the solid moral foundations of our forefathers, which shall only end in grief and bitterness my beloved. You have been warned.

When I (very rarely) pause from my busy religious ruminations, to dwell upon the more profane and, one might say, unfitting thoughts (for a man of the cloth) than the lofty heights my intellect is wont to inhabit, I need only recall the fine incidents of religious affection with which Mr Sopwith displays through his ineffable character, and I am again caught up into the third heaven to behold the sublime mysteries of that blessed Holy Trinity, surrounded by unapproachable light and bathed in glory testified by the everlasting praise of the angels.

I was fortunate enough to capture one such moment on camera, and I shall share it here for the mutual benefit and edification of all the saints. I have posted below an incident where Mr Sopwith exercised, for the wonderment of all, the practice of "Safe Snacks".

The incident took place in that den of iniquity, the Pacific Centre Food Court. Melissa had purchased a very sinful bag of candied popcorn.

We all immediately discerned that to consume such a tasty treat, no matter how innocent popcorn is meant to be, would be a gross exertion of our carnal desires. Here is Tom, momentarily swayed by the lusts of the flesh, showing just how easily the mighty are tempted to sin. See how he has almost lost control of his will! See the demonic lust in his eyes!

Fortunately, the spirit prompted him to recall his first love, to remain strong and refuse to give into such temptations. The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways. In this particular incident, for example, the Spirit spoke to Tom through a very carefully placed sticker on the popcorn bag. Who would have thought? Clearly placed there by the Lord to convict Tom of the impending judgment for those who fall away. His grace truly is amazing. Behold!

Being sensitive to such promptings of the Spirit, Tom recognised this to be a message from the Lord: a warning that he must put on the whole armour of God, and wear this protection from the enemy! And where better to place such protection, than on that most mischievous of all the human organs, yes that is right my brothers, upon the mouth.

Here is Tom proudly wearing his protection so that he may not be infected by the enemy's tricks.

Am I not right in upholding Tom as a wonderful model for the next generation of the Lord's saints? Am I not right in saying that his example inspires us all to reach earnestly for godliness, holiness, and all things pure? Does his life not strike fear and conviction into our hearts, to abhor all that is evil?

Finally, here is a picture of my wife, whose conscience is clearly seared "as with a hot iron" such that she gives no thought to the trap that the enemy has laid for her. I tried to warn her to follow Tom's example and refrain from the evil that so easily ensnares, but I fear my efforts were in vain...

What does 135,000 dead look like?

2005-01-02T02:13:00.000-08:00

click here to find out...

Tragedy Worsens

2004-12-29T23:03:00.000-08:00

I just read that the death toll is now over 100,000.

via

a time to pray

2004-12-27T14:48:00.000-08:00

I came home from spending a wonderful Christmas at Whistler, to receive some terrible, terrible news.

On boxing day, a tsunami hit the coastlines of many southern Asian countries. Australia did not get hit, but of the countries that did, so far the death toll is 24,000 and the authorities are FAR from finishing the count.

Aid efforts are oberwhelmed and need more money. I think you can donate through World Vision.

the spirit moved us

2004-12-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

This excellent article from the Sydney Morning Herald, explores the recent surge in the god-seeking musicians. Very insightful and broad. The journalist obviously knows his music, either that or he is an incessant name dropper, since this article mentions everyone from Prince to Devendra and Sufjan, Radiohead, the Oils, Nick Cave, Casey Donovan, U2 (obviously) and a cache load of awesome aussie indie bands.

Rock on for Jesus! (groan)

ps - it looks like the newspaper requires you to log-in to see the article, so you can use mine if you want:

user: corporategreed
pass: corporategreed

Nosepilot

2004-12-17T13:22:00.000-08:00

This is quite possibly the best flash animation I've ever seen on the web. Better even than the homestar!

Check it out.

I am happy

2004-12-17T09:21:00.000-08:00

I am happy because yesterday a print I ordered from an obscure pair of artists working in NYC has arrived. You can see what it looks like here.

It is the one with the red car.

What do you think?

So You'd Like to... Embark on a Postmodern Spiritual Quest?

2004-12-17T09:13:00.000-08:00

Apparently all you need is this handy guide.

As well intentioned as this may be, isn't it in fact, a contradiction in terms...? A "how to" for a "postmodern" quest? I thought the whole point of a postmodern spiritual quest was to mix and match your spirituality in whatever way you wanted. The WHOLE POINT was to eschew such things as "how to's": this quest is mine, no one is going to define it or pre-package it for me. Actually I'm pretty dissapointed with the suggestions, I mean, if I put one of these things together I would make sure it included the following:

1) a bucket of dirt
2) tintin comics
3) a t-shirt with a picture of che on it

That would be MY spiritual quest...

...or maybe not.

Sunday in retrospect

2004-12-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday night was the first gathering for our church plant, and I've been sitting at my PC for a while now (a couple of days actually) trying to summarise and reflect on what happened.

The only words that are coming to mind are: overwhelmed, joyful, encouraged, challenged, excited, affirmed in my faith, and not just a little bit fearful (in the good sense).

For a long while now, there has been a small group of people carrying a vision in their hearts for a plant onto the University Endowment Lands. A number of people gathered together to hear about this vision on Sunday, and in the process we were able to light a little spark in their hearts as well (or fan a little brighter the flame already there). I won't say that everyone who came had this experience, but judging by the responses I have had via email, or by phone, or in person, the response was significant.

A number of people have already sacrificed a lot for this vision, and will continue to do so, because they are convinced that this is a God-breathed venture. God is calling many people to own this: it is not my vision, I didn't ask God for it, but I own it now and love it. It is God's plan and He has asked me to carry it, along with many wonderful and godly people.

So on the night Reid Johnson and I shared what God has been doing (as much as we perceive of course!) to bring this vision to a "time such as this". Reid began UCM (University Christian Ministries) on the UBC campus almost 23 years ago. Since that time he has also desired to see a church planted on the campus as well, another ministry to compliment UCM and reach the people UCM can't. He has been praying to that effect through the intervening years.

About 18 months ago the vision began to pick up some momentum: the elders and board of PGCC (my church) identified that the "still small voice of God" was telling them to prepare for a church plant by Jan 2005. At a subsequent AGM the board recommended to the members of the church that we set aside $50,000 of "seed money" to prepare for that time. This was quite a challenge, because 50G is a reasonable amount of shekels, but it was done in faith and God has honoured their faith. They also wrote it down into a 'vision document', which like many such things, was written, shelved and forgotten about. But I found a copy of the document and there it is, plain as day: a directive to begin a work of extension.

Over roughly the same period of time, I began to get a little uncomfortable. A lot of folks at church were saying strange things to us (Melissa and I), frightening things, like: "we really don't think you guys are meant to leave Vancouver"; and "gee, wouldn't it be great if you could stick around after you're finished at Regent." I knew in my heart that God was stirring the pot, switching it up, messing up our hair, poking us in the ribs...

And then it came. Our Snr Pastor Lawrence Rae, invited Melissa and I to stay in Canada, join the PGCC staff as a church planter, and head up the work onto the campus. After a number of months praying, fasting, waiting, talking, reading, wrestling, and contemplating (etc!), we agreed. This was the will of God. Immediately after (like within seconds of) saying "yes", the dreams began and the joy rose up like a flood!

At about the same time, a piece of land on the campus was offered to PGCC. A piece of land! There is NO LAND for sale on the UEL that is available to private investors. NONE. The developers ALWAYS know about it before anyone else. They ALWAYS outbid everyone else. But "here", says God via some lovely Lutheran folks, "have some land. And while we're at it, you might as well buy it for far less than it is worth on the open market, is $300,000 less OK?" Is it OK?! You better believe it. So, after a lot of blood, sweat and tears by our Assoc. Pastor Mr Greg Laing* (who negotiated with banks and lawyers and the vendors and the PGCC board and ...) we now have some land on the campus. One lot back from the corner of Wesbrook Mall and University BLVD. And we are praying for more land, because we need the property next to the one we own. The one right on the corner. This one may not be as easy to come by, but nothing is impossible for God.

Those of you who were there on Sunday know the rest of the story: God has given me a very specific vision for the plant. The church MUST be a missional church. And that DOES NOT mean that we will all get full of evangelistic fervour and run around handing out tracts to everyone we see. No no no no no no no! It has to be more personal than that. People don't want to meet Christ through a little booklet that explains the "four spiritual laws". They want to meet Christ through a person. They want to see Jesus with skin on: through a human being. So, the vision of this church is to create opportunities for that to happen (and not just through big rallies and evangelistic outreach programs). What we need to create are "neutral spaces" or "proximity spaces". Places that non-believers are happy to go into, but are not "programmed", so there is room for casual friendships to emerge. A cafe perhaps. I mean a real cafe, like the old French salons. A place of activity, creativity, discussion, debate, friendship, music, poetry, art and life. A place where people will go with their friends and sit, sip a good coffee, eat a pastry or two, and talk about life. I don't mean a branded, Fourbucks-type place. At this cafe you don't walk in, buy your coffee in a paper cup and walk out. At this cafe you come in, sit down, and enjoy the atmosphere. This cafe is a refuge. A safe-place. A warm haven. A place where believers will meet each day before opening to pray for the customers, where the staff will learn the name of regulars and try to find out some of their story, their life. Not just so that they can "get someone saved", but because that person needs to meet Jesus: because that person is valued by God, and thus, valued by us. I could go on, but I'm already getting a bit preachy. Suffice to say that I want to create a space where the Christian world and the Non-Christian world can meet and intersect: creating room for the spirit to work in people through our contact; in people who would otherwise never have any other connection to the believing community. For those of you interested in this kind of thing, I encourage you to read The Shaping of Things to Come by Mike Frost and Alan Hirsch.

This idea is not new, but it is still fairly underground. The best example I've seen is here. This is a ministry run by a church in Houston. It isn't restricted to cafes. There is a shoe-seller in San Francisco who is trying to do the same thing through his shoe store. The store is called the "Subterranean Shoe Room". Here is an example of a recent art show he held in his store (warning, the images at this art show are not what you might call "Christian", but then the dude is trying to reach people who live pretty far from church culture... just the sort of people that no-one else will reach). Here (.pdf) and here are two other articles about just this sort of ministry. The first is specifically about the sub-shoe room, and other creative type ministries in the same vein. The second is about the larger cultural trends that these kind of ministries address.

The other side of the coin for this plant is, of course, the traditional church stuff: worship, family and kids ministry, leadership development and discipleship, healing and deliverance etc. All of this I value - very much so. I want to make sure we develop this, and do it well. In fact, I think key to our growth and vitality as a church will be family ministry. There are a lot of families on campus. More than people realise, I think. I believe we need to find a way to support them, and help them, but as to how we're going to do it, at this stage I don't know. We need some creative minds to think and pray about it. One such creative mind, Erin Cooper, has already stepped up and started to walk with us in this process. Erin will be leading the development of our Kids ministry next year, which is (of course!) also a big change in her 'life plans'. But, she has heard God's call. Bless her!

I don't want this church's ministry to be totally centralised. I want it to be grassroots. This needs to be a church of people thinking creatively and praying earnestly for the area, letting God lead them - taking risks. Since we won't have a large facility we'll have to approach our ministry in this kind of way: less emphasis on programs, more on relationship building. Some programs are good and needed, 'programs' are not the problem. The problem arises when 'programs' become the only way to do ministry.

I also mentioned on Sunday that I value the 5-fold ministry: Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor, Teacher; as well as the gifts of the spirit in general. Part of my fundamental philosophy of ministry is the CENTRAL importance of these gifts within the life of the church, especially amongst the leadership. If you don't believe me read Eph 4:1-16. Paul specifically equates the operation of these ministries/gifts to the health, maturity, strength, and mission of the church. Read the passage again. Read it carefully. It is very powerful.

So much more to say! But this blog is already long enough. Glenn Innes emailed me today and suggested that we start a kind of collective blog for the plant community. Not a bad idea. Perhaps we should do just that. Not sure how though. Any thoughts?

To cut a long story short, Sunday night was awesome. We worshipped, prayed, shared some history, spoke about the future, counted the cost, asked God to help us discern His will, and we honoured the Lord for His faithfulness. God is good. Personally, I am very excited about this.

Please pray for this venture and for all the folks involved: specifically, Erin Cooper, Reid Johnson, Tracy Moar, Arthur Howard, and Melissa and I. These are the folks who (so far) form the core leadership. We need your prayer! And if you happen to pass by the Lutheran Campus Centre at UBC, pray for the land - ask God to give it to us!

Finally, a big thanks to all my wonderful friends (I don't want to name you in case I forget someone and cause offence - but you all know who you are): you sustain me, you help me to keep my arms lifted, you bless me. May God kiss you in return.

*Please take a moment if you see Greg to thank him, hug him, buy him a Christmas present, shake his hand, encourage him, pray for him... this process just about put him under. It is very complicated for churches to get loans, and Greg arranged it in an impossibly super-fast fashion (and it almost cost him his health and sanity).

For coffee lovers...

2004-12-15T13:36:00.000-08:00

Very interesting and enlightening article from Totally Wired Magazine. Personally, I own one of the cheap steam driven machines and I'm always disappointed at the quality of the shot I get from it. To my credit, I've figured out that I can get a good shot if I'm also frothing milk while the shot draws, since I can control the rate at which the water is forced over the grind and thus avoid over-heating the coffee. This is quite complicated, as it requires that I ignore the well-meaning water guides on the side of the machine and that I start to froth the milk at a point in the process NOT recommended by the instruction manual. Ah the lengths we addicts will go to for a good cup!

Anyway, if I had more money I would buy one of the super-automated machines suggested in the article, this one specifically, would be my first choice.

I probably should just bite the bullet and buy one anyway, since I spend $3 a day, on average (I mostly buy from The Well at Regent College, where I can get a good regular sized latte for just under $3). It would pay for itself over the course of a year. Unless I quit drinking the stuff, though THAT is unlikely.

By the way, I have renamed Starbucks to Fourbucks since that is roughly the amount of cash one parts with every time one sets one's foot in their door. As an aside, I avoid drinking Fourbucks whenever possible. I'm not a snob, I just prefer to support the small local cafes if I can. Unfortunately I haven't yet found a local cafe that serves Lavazza (my favourite bean), and there is one thing going for Fourbucks that many other cafes lack: consistency.

Aside from the article linked to above, everyone thinking of buying a home espresso maker should also read this.

There is just one final problem: it is always nice to have someone else make your coffee (especially if it is good), even if you have to pay. Unfortunately my wife won't make me coffee, and when I complain that she doesn't care about my needs, she has four responses:

1) Stop being a big girl and quit your whinging!*
2) I don't like the stuff, it is messy.
3) I want you to quit drinking it, why would I make it for you? (duh?!)
4) When was the last time you bought ME flowers, or breakfast in bed, or...?

I have to console myself with the thought that since she doesn't drink coffee she probably wouldn't make it right, and so I wouldn't like it if she made it for me anyway.

*(Technically two responses but I'm guessing that she doesn't equate "being a big girl" with the hard won quality of "being a whinger", something I'm quite good at as you have by now guessed. I'm supposing that this turn of phrase has more to do with the particular construction of words sounding (to her ear) rather nice together (in a poetic sense), rather than their possessing an ontological necessity of "girlie-ness" and "whinging-ness" as co-equals in a larger metaphysical whole. Which is to say, this insult is, purely and simply, a matter belonging to aesthetics rather than ontology.)

Reflections on Sunday night...

2004-12-14T15:56:00.000-08:00

...are coming soon! Stand by.