Our Fine Yoof Pastor : Practicing Safe Snacks

Tom Sopwith. Yoof Pastor at Point Grey Community Church, and what a stupendous model of propriety and self discipline he is! Just the sort of person the disrespectful and uncouth yoof of today need. I couldn't think of a finer example of the very qualities that we need to see more of in our society, which is (it saddens my heart to admit) unraveling at the very seams! Loosing itself from the solid moral foundations of our forefathers, which shall only end in grief and bitterness my beloved. You have been warned.

When I (very rarely) pause from my busy religious ruminations, to dwell upon the more profane and, one might say, unfitting thoughts (for a man of the cloth) than the lofty heights my intellect is wont to inhabit, I need only recall the fine incidents of religious affection with which Mr Sopwith displays through his ineffable character, and I am again caught up into the third heaven to behold the sublime mysteries of that blessed Holy Trinity, surrounded by unapproachable light and bathed in glory testified by the everlasting praise of the angels.

I was fortunate enough to capture one such moment on camera, and I shall share it here for the mutual benefit and edification of all the saints. I have posted below an incident where Mr Sopwith exercised, for the wonderment of all, the practice of "Safe Snacks".

The incident took place in that den of iniquity, the Pacific Centre Food Court. Melissa had purchased a very sinful bag of candied popcorn.



We all immediately discerned that to consume such a tasty treat, no matter how innocent popcorn is meant to be, would be a gross exertion of our carnal desires. Here is Tom, momentarily swayed by the lusts of the flesh, showing just how easily the mighty are tempted to sin. See how he has almost lost control of his will! See the demonic lust in his eyes!



Fortunately, the spirit prompted him to recall his first love, to remain strong and refuse to give into such temptations. The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways. In this particular incident, for example, the Spirit spoke to Tom through a very carefully placed sticker on the popcorn bag. Who would have thought? Clearly placed there by the Lord to convict Tom of the impending judgment for those who fall away. His grace truly is amazing. Behold!



Being sensitive to such promptings of the Spirit, Tom recognised this to be a message from the Lord: a warning that he must put on the whole armour of God, and wear this protection from the enemy! And where better to place such protection, than on that most mischievous of all the human organs, yes that is right my brothers, upon the mouth.

Here is Tom proudly wearing his protection so that he may not be infected by the enemy's tricks.




Am I not right in upholding Tom as a wonderful model for the next generation of the Lord's saints? Am I not right in saying that his example inspires us all to reach earnestly for godliness, holiness, and all things pure? Does his life not strike fear and conviction into our hearts, to abhor all that is evil?

Finally, here is a picture of my wife, whose conscience is clearly seared "as with a hot iron" such that she gives no thought to the trap that the enemy has laid for her. I tried to warn her to follow Tom's example and refrain from the evil that so easily ensnares, but I fear my efforts were in vain...