the spiders are seeking revenge
Perhaps I'm just paranoid, but since my spidery encounter the other night, I have seen two more of the little beasties clambering around near my toes - are they trying to get me? Are they seeking vengeance for my killing of their mate?
Both occurrences were in the bathroom, and both in the dead of night when I had gotten out of bed to do you-know-what.
The first of them I nearly stepped on. He had placed himself by the bathroom door, ready to strike when I absent mindedly put my foot down near his dripping fangs. Thankfully I was awake enough to be prepared for such stealthy spider moves. I quickly finished him off with a handy bottle of bathroom cleaner, which was located on the bench near the door. I sure taught him a thing or two.
The other appeared while I was in an inconvenient seated position (I see no need to elaborate further on that). He was slowly making his way across the bath mat, creeping toward me, trying to look innocent. But I know what he was up to. I know these spider tricks.
The toilet brush soon sent him to spider heaven.
Ugh. The very thought of a "spider heaven" - a place infested with spiders for all eternity - is enough to make me want to faint, vomit and break out in cold sweats all at the same time. Actually, a place like that commonly goes by another name: hell.
Both occurrences were in the bathroom, and both in the dead of night when I had gotten out of bed to do you-know-what.
The first of them I nearly stepped on. He had placed himself by the bathroom door, ready to strike when I absent mindedly put my foot down near his dripping fangs. Thankfully I was awake enough to be prepared for such stealthy spider moves. I quickly finished him off with a handy bottle of bathroom cleaner, which was located on the bench near the door. I sure taught him a thing or two.
The other appeared while I was in an inconvenient seated position (I see no need to elaborate further on that). He was slowly making his way across the bath mat, creeping toward me, trying to look innocent. But I know what he was up to. I know these spider tricks.
The toilet brush soon sent him to spider heaven.
Ugh. The very thought of a "spider heaven" - a place infested with spiders for all eternity - is enough to make me want to faint, vomit and break out in cold sweats all at the same time. Actually, a place like that commonly goes by another name: hell.
posted by Timbo at 9:57 am
1 Comments:
lover of cats, yet hater of spiders - a little uncomfortable dualism in your animal relationships there? I notice that neither cats nor spiders are mentioned in the bible, but they both tend to frequent horror movies (I'm told). Thus begins a theology on the eternal destination of such creatures - spider heaven ... unlikely, kitty heaven ... frankly an even more hideous concept.
For such noble creatures as lions, eagles and lambs, we can be certain, PTL.
More practically - might I suggest the well tried and tested spider execution method - a simple piece of toilet paper (2 or 3 for the larger brute). Simply pick up by pinching it in the paper and crush lightly. Excellent to mop up the spider juice, and when already in the bathroom, you have local flushability.
10 out of 10 for not placing the dead beast(s) in the cereal box for Melissa to discover later. At least I hope you didn't do that!?
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