You could be the next pope...

Think about it:

As much holy water as you can drink.
Free clothing and bling-bling.
Your very own "pope-mobile" (I hear that this year, with the rising price of fuel and all, the cardinals have decided that the new mobile-see is going to be one of these). I'll certainly be requesting something a little more sporty.
Free accommodation (they've even installed hot water and a matters this year).
Free access to the nuns.
Oops. My wife tells me "no nuns"; el popo has to wear the funny hat for a reason you know.
Your very own Sistine Chapel, which includes some sweet Michelangelo Frescoes to keep you amused when you're bored with running the Catholic Church.
A marble crypt next to John Paul Sartre II (I didn't know he was a Catholic).
24 hour access to the "man upstairs" (I hear there is a hotline in the Pope's office, in case of emergencies. I wonder what constitutes and emergency? Somehow I doubt "Hey God I've run out of toilet paper!!" would make the cut).
A throne, and no, not of the loo variety.
Your very own bull, called (imaginatively) "the papal bull".
Something about choir boys.
"What about choir boys?"
"Shut up Michael, you're in enough trouble as it is".
A gang of men dressed in red, who do nothing but hang around all the time and eat your food, while waiting for you to die.
A fan-club of over a billion people.

There is only one down side:

No sex for all eternity.

But hey, you get a free "thrice-blessed" t-shirt just for applying, so you might as well give it a shot.